Dear Becca & Grant,
                  I'm home from the hospital. Just yesterday morning my stomach was whole and a huge reservoir for all kinds of foods that weren't good for me at all. I still haven't had a bite to eat since Tuesday evening but right now I have absolutely no desire to eat. My stomach hurts so much. Oops, I just took a small gulp of water out of habit. I wonder if that will end up hurting me more than I would like and I would wish it wouldn't at all. I feel better than I did yesterday though. I absolutely hate waking up from general anaesthesia. It seems like it takes days for my head to clear and for me to be able to think without any degree of confusion. I'm still in pretty intense pain from the procedure. I was told that if I walk while during my recovery it will lesson the pain so I walked the halls like I really had someplace to go. There was a woman walking the halls around the same times I was. When the pain medicine was working at full power I could almost walk the halls at a normal pace and that poor woman must have been in a whole lot more pain than I was because every time I would lap her she would jokingly tell me that she hated me. I do think that gulp hurt me a bit or it could be from the fact that I am testing out my ability to drink water while simultaneously dipping.
      I have had a 20 oz. water, a cup of tea, a cup of coffee, a cup of Crystal Light, some beef broth and the odd sip here and there. Tomorrow I will start measuring my fluid intake with more accuracy. I really need to be very conscientious regarding the water intake. It's one of the most important concerns relating to Gastric Bypass and weight loss. I want to do everything by the book so I can lose the absolute maximum amount of weight in the smallest time frame while still maintaining what puny amounts of muscle mass I already have. Papaw & Uncle Donny are going to be bringing the treadmill up here tomorrow if there's no more snow or other precipitation. I won't be able to jump on there and do an hour like I had done before the surgery but I need to get at least a half an hour in even it's in small intervals. Doctor Steiner, my surgeon told me that maybe Monday or Tuesday I could move on to the pureed stage of eating but if I don't feel any better than this I won't be making the transition until later. I'm sure I will be feeling better by then or at least I hope so. I thought I was ready for this but I underestimated the pain by about four fold. I would still do it but I would have been a bit more nervous about it. I wasn't nervous at all; just excited and I still am excited. I can't wait until the weight starts falling, the loss becomes noticeable and I especially can't wait until I am blowing through smaller and smaller sized clothes.
      Becca and Grant both came to visit me while I was in the hospital. I was surprised that Becca came because she had all along insisted that she didn't want to come to the hospital and see me all cut open. I understood where she was coming from and I was touched that she didn't want to see me in pain but I guess the little brat loves me so much that she just couldn't stay away. The kids brought me a big tall sippy cup and a pillow to hold against my chest when I coughed. Kristie and her friend, Sherri came by as well and brought donuts and coffee for everyone but me because I couldn't have any. Of course at that time and right now for that matter I didn't want to have anything to do with donuts and coffee.
      To tell you the truth I wasn't all that impressed with St. Joseph East as far as being a patient on the floor. I had a number of good nurses and aides but in the short time that I was there I had an equally number of rude and forgetful nurses and aides. I had asked the surgeon if I could have a nicotine patch to help fight the cravings that I would be having for my smokeless tobacco but I didn't get the patch until about two hours before I left. I was in such exquisite pain throughout my stay that I really didn't have any urges for nicotine. All I wanted was morphine and the antinausea medicine I had to take with the morphine. I don't know why they didn't bring them together. I would take the morphine and as quickly as the pain would subside the nausea would come on and I would have to buzz for the nurse. The floors where filthy and Mamaw & Papaw said that the cafeteria was just gross. Papaw said it looked like the break room up at General Electric and that is pretty nasty.
      After we left the hospital today I needed to get a bunch of prescriptions filled, I needed a roll of Grizzly Snuff and the 2008 TurboTax because I am ready to file. I had this bright idea that it would be good for me to get out and go inside Wal-Mart and walk around some. That was a mistake. It had been quite awhile since my last pain meds and I hurt incredibly bad. I found the TurboTax but the pharmacy was closed for lunch and they were out of Grizzly Snuff so we came on back to Versailles. Papaw dropped Mamaw off at Kroger so she could fill my prescriptions and then he took me to the discount tobacco store in Versailles. I got a roll of ten through the drive-thru and as I was making my transaction Mamaw called and told Papaw that there was an hour wait for my meds so he just took me on home. I waited for what seemed like forever for my pain medicine and I was never so glad to see Mamaw & Papaw as I was when they walked in carrying my percocets. I took one right away and I think I'm gonna take another one here in just a minute or so.
      I filled out my taxes using TurboTax and electronically submitted them so my taxes are filed or the Federal taxes are anyway. I owe to the state so I am just going to wait until I get my federal return to mail my state taxes. I claimed Becca this year but not Grant because Kristie will be claiming Grant until I can no longer claim Becca and then we will rotate claiming Grant. The loss of the deduction and filing as head of household killed me tax wise and I had to file single on the state taxes because head of household is not an option. I have to give my entire return to Mamaw & Papaw for taxes and insurance on this house minus the state taxes that I owe and I'll ask them if I can get me a new pair of shoes out of it as well. I really need new shoes. I can't wait until I'm fretting over where the money to but new transitional size clothes are going to be coming from. I'm gonna be doing a lot of shopping at Goodwill or I will be when I get to be a size where there's actually some kind of selection. They don't really carry stuff for people of my generous girth and rather spartan height. Pretty soon I will be getting clothes in regular size stores and I can not wait.
      Well, I didn't get to watch a single movie I downloaded. I just hurt so bad and when I did try to watch them the drugs would make me doze off so I reckon I'll look at some of them here in the comfort of my own home. I was going to be staying with Mamaw & Papaw but I am much more comfortable here. Finally the big surprise I had spoken of for years here on this blog has become a reality. I have the tool I need to get down to a size that does not invite ridicule and harsh judgment. All I need to do now is follow the rules and learn new attitudes regarding food and exercise and I will finally be able to put the moniker, Danny the Gorilla, I was given by the evil older children on the school bus when I was a just a tad bit older that Becca. That name has stuck with me throughout my life, that and Hoss. I always hated to be called Hoss. My elementary gym teacher, Danny Haynes called me Hoss and to this day I still can not stand the man for it. Maybe these feeling are some that will need to be addressed when I begin counseling or therapy or whatever you call it that I plan on doing. I'm gonna close now. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                     It's been done. The pain was pretty bad and still is. I have just taken some pain medication so I am feeling relatively comfortable. I don't have my nicotine patch which was my main concern. Oh well, everything couldn't be perfect.
      I just wanted to let you know that I survived the surgery. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                  Today is the day and I am up way too early. Well, only about an hour early but Becca & I went to bed about two hours too late. I got five movies downloaded for the hospital and I have been wanting to see them all. I have my bag packed. It's just a big toiletry bag because I will not need any clothes. I have my really nice electric razor, my sonic toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, my wallet, my keys, my still and flip video cameras, an extra battery and charger for my still camera, my cell phone, my cell phone charger and my tiny bible. I would have packed a can of dip but I am fresh out. Uncle Rodney brought me a couple of cans Wednesday night so I wouldn't have to get Becca out and those are both gone. Uncle Rodney is a real nice fellow. I know that Grant thinks the world of him and Becca does as well; for that matter, so do I.
      I'm gonna let Becca sleep until I absolutely have to get her up. I dressed her in a warm long sleeve sleeper with feet so I'm not even going to change her clothes. I'm just going to pack her to Mamaw & Papaw's truck. We have to take her to her Mom this morning. Well, I might change her into regular clothes. I haven't decided yet. Yeah, I think I will. I have her clothes laid out and ready to be put on her. It won't take too much extra time.
      I took my measurements this morning and I plan on doing it every Friday. I was shocked by my weight as I weighed 251.2 pounds this morning. I was expecting around 255. The lower weight puts my BMI (Body Mass Index) at 39.9 and that is one point below the mark I need to have the surgery without comorbidities. I am already qualified, approved and scheduled for the surgery so it doesn't matter, plus I have diabetes so I would qualify anyway. Gastric Bypass is said to cure diabetes so I may not have diabetes for long. I'm rambling, aren't I?
      Well, I want to get dressed and try to remember if I am forgetting anything so I will close this out. I am so excited and happy that this is finally happening. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                  My surgery is in the morning. I am so excited to be finally getting this thing done. It's been a long time coming and I am so thankful to be getting this journey underway. Since boot camp I haven't done as well as I could have regarding my pre-op diet. I had about two dozen final big meals and I spent more money on fast food than I usually do. I haven't gained any weight since boot camp though or at least according to my home scales. I was supposed to keep my carbs at 30 grams to shrink my liver because they have to move it during surgery while I am in the pre-op phase and for the most part I have but there's been days when I would get that from a single bite. I believe I have shrunken my liver more than enough. I've lost 20 to 25 pounds since my first appointment.
      There's been an ice storm come through Kentucky this week. Becca hasn't been to school all week and I took Grant to his Mom early this week and I haven't been able to get him because of the ice. Both Becca and I miss the boy terribly bad. He's such a big card. He's so much more mischievous than Becca ever was. It makes for a whole lot more work but he's just so entertaining and fun that I just don't care. I went in to work Monday with no problem but I slid all over the place on the way to work Tuesday morning. There was a ton of people out Tuesday because of the ice. The company bought all of us pizza from Pappa John's for coming in under inclement conditions. I went to bed intending on going to work Wednesday but at around midnight Papaw called and told me that G.E. had cancelled work for Wednesday. That's a big deal because in the near 22 years I have been there I could count on my fingers the times that work has been cancelled on account of weather. I reckon they plan on working tomorrow but I'll be busy getting my anatomy rearranged so I won't be making it in tomorrow. I'll be off for two weeks and maybe just a hair longer or at least that's what the company nurse inferred.
      Today and yesterday I had to be on a liquid diet and I haven't cheated at all. Becca wondered why I couldn't eat and I told her that the doctor didn't want to cut my stomach in half and have a biscuit pop out. She thought that was kinda funny. I'm starving and exhausted because I stayed up entirely too late last night. The ice settled onto the satellite dish and knocked out our satellite service for nearly two whole days. Becca finally made it up here from Mamaw & Papaw's Wednesday evening so I set her up on the computer playing her computer games on NickJr.com. I finally realized that I still had TiVo hooked up to the television and while I don't use it to record programs any longer there were some old episodes of some of her cartoon shows on there so we looked at some TiVo. Finally I went outside and took my long Christmas pole that I use to put up and take down the outside lights and beat the crap out of the dish with it and knocked most of the ice off. When I came back inside the satellite box was finally booting up so finally we had television.
      I had downloaded Kung Fu Panda last night so we ended up watching that on the computer instead of watching television. I also downloaded Eagle Eye, Taken, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and I am in the process of downloading Transporter 3 and Lakeview Terrace. I am downloading these films in case I have an opportunity to watch them while I am in the hospital. I won't be able to watch them all but I might get one watched. I have a few others queued up to download and I suppose I will watch these films while I am off recovering from my surgery.
      I discovered that I hate plain chicken broth. I like chicken noodle soup so I thought I wouldn't have too much of a problem with the broth but I was sorely mistaken. It was so incredibly gross. I have to stay on this liquid diet for about a week after surgery and I had hoped that I would have liked chicken broth to give me some variety. I am nervous about what I can and what I can not eat after the surgery. I have big plans for pureed chili and I saw a recipe for ricotta cheese, cheddar and spaghetti sauce. I'm not real creative in the kitchen so I am a bit worried about variety in the pureed stage. I have discovered something called Almond Breeze that I have been using for my shakes. I like the chocolate best and it mixes well with the chocolate protein and a few packets of equal. I also realized I'm going to have a rough time getting all my water in. I dip so much and while I can drink with a dip in I wonder about how the residue from the dip will affect my new pouch. Well, we'll see. I expect to be sick quite a bit as I discover what my pouch will and will not be able to tolerate.
      I'm looking forward to all of my weight loss. Like I mentioned earlier I have already lost quite a bit since I started this thing. My highest weight was 303 pounds but for some unexplained reason I had lost 26 pounds without even trying. I think it was because of all the stress I've been under since Mom decided to leave. So I started out at 277 pounds and just a few moments ago I unofficially weighed on my new Omron digital scales with body fat monitor and I weighed 255 which is what I wanted to weigh for the surgery. I'm sure I will be weighed again tomorrow at the hospital and I will take an official weigh in on my home scale in the morning. The exercise physiologist told me that my goal weight was 185 but I've been there or at least very close the last time I lost weight. I think with the help of the surgery I can go even lower. My ultimate goal is 169 pounds. I have a number of smaller transitional goals on my journey and things I will do to mark the occasion. I will be starting out at around 255 or there about. My first goal will be 219 pounds which will be a 36 pound loss and I will be trimming the bushy mess that has become my goatee. The weight comes off quickest in the beginning that's why there's such a big gap to my first goal. My next goal will be 199 pounds which will be a 20 pound loss and I will begin growing my hair back when I get there. The next goal will be the one the bariatric center has for me, 185 pounds and I will totally shave my goatee off and be clean shaven and as I said my ultimate goal is 169 and I have no idea what I will be doing for that. It really needs to be a big deal though. Maybe I will try to get myself three or four really nice sets of clothes with fancy new boots and the whole nine yards but that would be expensive. So, from 303 to 169 is a weight loss of 134 pounds. That is entirely doable because I already have 48 of it gone so that leaves me with 86 pounds to lose. I can probably get that done in a year and if I really get after it maybe even before Christmas. I know that the more you have to lose the quicker you do lose in the beginning, for example if I weighed 500 pounds and needed to lose 300 it wouldn't be unreasonable to lose 30 pounds in the first few weeks but since I don't have as much to lose I will be expecting a loss of 15 to 20 pounds in the first month. I certainly hope I am being conservative but I don't want to go into this thinking that I'm going to lose 50 pounds the first month and then coming up ridiculously short. I think 15 to 20 is very realistic.
      Well, it's getting late and Becca is about to get out of the tub. I need to get a good nights rest tonight because I will have a pretty painful day tomorrow. I'll probably even regret doing this at some point tomorrow but those feelings will be temporary and this is what I really want. I know that tomorrow will be one of the top five most important days of my life. It's the beginning of my new life. I plan on asking about being referred to a therapist at my one month follow-up and dealing with some of the issues that I have that may have come from being obese all of my life. I know this will not solve all of my problems but if I am healthy and feel good about who I am I will be in a much better position to deal with other things in my life that need to be addressed.
      I'm sure everything will be okay but just in case I want Becca and Grant to know just how much their Dad loved them. My hope was always to be a father and I am the father to two of the greatest kids I have ever had the privilege to know. I'm not going to dwell on all of that because everything will be fine. I'm sorry that this month this blog has become Daddy's gastric bypass blog but this is important not only to me but to my two precious children as well and I'm sure they'll want to know about it. I'm really going to close this thing out now. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                  Well, I went to my appointment this morning. They called it boot camp. I was given a Gastric Bypass patient handbook with tons of great information and I had to fill out a quiz for the surgeon to demonstrate how well I understood the procedure. I only missed one and I think I missed that one because I probably didn't read the question as closely as I should have. I was weighed with a scale that runs a current of electricity through you to measure not only your weight but your body fat percentage. I'm not even revealing what my body fat percentage was. Let's just say it was kinda high. I saw a well reviewed scale from Omron like it on Amazon.com and I am going to purchase it along with a quality Omron pedometer when I have the available funds. I met with the surgeon and he seemed pretty nice. I read some reviews on him on the internet and it seemed like his mom wrote all of them. The reviews were so wonderful it almost made me kind of suspicious but I'm sure if I have a great surgery with no complications that I will be singing his praises as well. I then got preregistered for the hospital in a little over two weeks. They then told me that the education portion of the day would be in two hours so I called up Mamaw and asked about how Grant & Becca were doing. They were doing fine. I chatted with her for a minute and then I called Auntie Lynn and chatted with her for the better part of an hour. By that time I still had an hour to go before the gastric bypass class. I went out to the car and I got a small dip, even though the hospital grounds are a tobacco free area and read my handbook. I came back in when it was almost time for the class, used the restroom, got a drink of water from a water fountain and went upstairs. The class seemed to last forever and was extremely boring. I did pick up some tidbits of important knowledge that I didn't know before so it was well worth it. I don't reckon I go back over there until the 30th for surgery. I have to go on a liquid diet or maybe a clear liquid diet two days or so before surgery. I'll have to look that up and let me tell y'all, I ain't looking forward to a liquid diet. I'll have to be on a liquid diet for about a week after my surgery but me stomach won't be nearly as demanding as it is now so I think I'll be able to handle it.
      After the doctor I had to go to the unemployment office to check in on my unemployment check for Christmas week and New Year's week. I got there a little after two and wasn't seen until four O'clock that evening. I was glad that I had my gastric bypass handbook with me to read and study. It was kind of difficult reading though because people around me kept on talking so much and all of these people are unemployed so the conversations were all kind of depressing. I may be missing a check but at least I have a decent paying job with insurance that will allow me to get my surgery. I was finally called back and was told that even though I had sent my filing letter in this past Thursday the lady handling my case couldn't do anything about it until tomorrow. I told the lady who I met with that I couldn't ask it to be done any sooner than tomorrow so I left out of there with cautious optimism. I really don't want to ever go back down there. I would have rather went and got my kids from Mamaw & Papaw's and played with them before I had to take them to their Mom.
      I was supposed to have them there by six but I called their Mom and explained my situation to her and she was very understanding. We have been working together very well in regards to the kids. I'm actually pretty proud of us both. I think we will be splitting a few weekends up to work around my surgery. My surgery weekend was supposed to be my weekend but I won't really feel up to having them then so Kristie will be keeping them that weekend. We'll split the weekend before and maybe the weekend after because Kristie doesn't want to trade weekends for good and to tell you the truth neither do I. I like getting them the weekend that I get paid. I will have the kids a few days leading up to my surgery and I suppose I'll take them back to Kristie the Thursday night before surgery or something, I don't know how that will work out. Mamaw or Papaw are going to run and get the kids so I can see them while I am in the hospital. Sherri's apartment where Kristie is staying is actually probably a mile or so from where I'm going to be getting my insides rearranged so that's handy.
      I watched a historically significant Kentucky Wildcat basketball game last night. I didn't watch it live because when I watch it live or even know the score during the game they will lose every time so in doing my part for the team I TiVo the games and watch them later. Jodie Meeks scored 54 points against the Tennessee Volunteers in Tennessee to break Dan Issel's scoring record that he set in 1970 when I was three years old. I haven't mentioned much about my beloved Wildcats the past few years because, frankly they've been rather mediocre and mediocre just isn't any fun when it comes to Kentucky basketball. Maybe this game will turn the tide and we'll get back to being the national powerhouse we rightfully should be. Meeks also set the three point record with ten. It was a fun game to watch.
      Well, I have two more days left to work this week and I am very tired so I will close this out and go to bed. I get the kids back Saturday morning. Usually it's Thursday night but I had them one extra night this week because Kristie couldn't find a way to get Becca to school so in the interest of fairness I agreed to let her have them for one and a half days of my weekend. See, we're both being very civil about this whole unfortunate mess. Anyway, I think I may be going out to either Golden Corral or Cracker Barrel for one last good carb loaded breakfast before surgery. I'm supposed to be eating only 30 carbs a day now and most days I stick to that but others I don't and I want one more big meal and I reckon it'll be breakfast. I have lost 15 pounds since my initial appointment a few days before Christmas so I am going in the right direction. I've had some stress over my unemployment and ate some stuff I shouldn't have so I now know that I am a stress triggered eater. I never paid much attention to it before but I guess that's what I am. My primary way of dealing with stress is retail therapy which means that spending money makes me feel good but if the stress is coming from the fact that I don't have any money I reckon I use food to deal with it. I have a whole bunch of stuff to work on this year. I might even see a therapist or something to help me learn new ways to deal with stress and new ways to deal with social situations which I loath. I am not a people person and I really wish that I were. Oh well, we'll see. I've been rambling and now I will close this post for real. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                  Big news! I have my surgery date. I go in to have my insides rearranged January 30th. That's a little over two weeks away. I can't wait for the pounds to start rolling off. This would be maybe the third or fourth best time of my life if it wasn't for the fact that I have no money because there's been problems with my unemployment for the time I was off during Christmas & New Years. I have an appointment to meet with my surgeon, Dr. Steiner tomorrow and I have to do lots of other stuff but I couldn't hear what was said on the phone so I won't know what all I have to do until tomorrow. After I get done there I have to go to the unemployment office and try to get all of this crap taken care of.
      I would love to go on and on about the surgery but with the problems with my unemployment I just don't feel like it. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                     My big surprise can now be revealed. I had a phone call this afternoon confirming that insurance has approved my gastric bypass surgery. That's right, I am actually going to have gastric bypass surgery. I weighed 276.7 lbs. when I had my first appointment, which is actually way down from my highest of 303 lbs. and Wednesday when I went for a nutritional meeting I weighed 269.6 pounds. The exercise physiologist quoted my goal weight at 185 pounds but I would love to get down to 175 because I was probably that size when I was in middle school, Jacob's age.
      Let me tell you all about my journey to get to this point in the process. Years ago I first mentioned in this blog something about a big surprise or secret that I had for all of us. It must have been two and a half years since I first mentioned it. I can't seem to find the original post in the blog but there's years worth of posts to search through so it's not too surprising. Anyway I went to the seminar years ago and was excited about the prospect of getting the surgery but I had to have six months of a regular diet administered by a physician before insurance would cover the surgery so I did that and by that time I was out of available time off at work. Your Mom signed up for the surgery and even had her initial appointment but she learned that she was pregnant. We lost that pregnancy but it seemed like she became pregnant with my favorite boy, Grant very soon after that. So her being pregnant knocked her out of having the surgery for a good long while.
      The end of 2007 came around and I attended the seminar again and submitted my insurance to St. Jospeh East Bariatric Center. They called a few days later and said that my insurance did not cover gastric bypass surgery under any circumstance. I called the insurance company myself and asked them about it and they told me the same thing. Kristie was afraid to tell me because she knew I would be upset because this is something I had really been wanting. I was incredibly disappointed but I simply resolved to wait and try again the next year. It appeared I handled it pretty well but I was torn up on the inside. If I had been the crying type I would have balled my eyes out. I had really wanted that surgery. What didn't make any sense was the fact that they did cover it when Kristie signed up for it. I believe both the bariatric center and I both got hold of someone who didn't know what they were talking about or maybe the policy did change.
      In 2008 General Electric changed insurance companies so I thought I'd give it one last shot. I was busy with a preschooler and an infant at the beginning of the year so I didn't have time to look into the possibilities early in 2008 so I waited until the end of the year. I called the insurance even before I scheduled the seminar. They informed me that gastric bypass was indeed covered. I was encouraged by that but I didn't get my hopes up too much because things seem to happen to me that kind of thwart my hopes and desires. I'm not being overly pessimistic I'm just stating the facts. Anyway, I scheduled the seminar late in November and once again submitted my insurance card. I got a call a few weeks later to schedule my initial appointment. I was now as close as Kristie had gotten.
      My appointment was scheduled for the 18th of December. I started filling out a psychological questionnaire with 430 questions. Some of the questions were laughable such as does my spirit ever leave my body and do I ever think that the entire world is plotting against me. A good portion of the questionnaire had to do with alcohol dependency though and seeing as how my spirit always seems to actually stay in my body and I am not a drinker to any degree that I would even bother mentioning I thought I would be okay. I met with the exercise physiologist who was filling in for the nutritionist who was on maternity leave and along with three others we learned all about the pre-op diet and a little about eating after surgery. I was weighed, my height was taken, they measured around my waist and chest and then they took a picture of me. I then went into an examination room to wait on one of the internists on staff there. My blood pressure was taken like they always do when you go to the doctor and I was asked a series of medical related questions. I was asked if I smoked and I told them I did not smoke but I did use smokeless tobacco and she recorded that on my chart. I had been worried about that because they will under no circumstances perform the surgery on someone who smokes. I asked one of the surgeons about my dipping habit and was told that they would do the surgery but wouldn't wanting me dipping for some time after surgery. I was so relieved but I did know that they would find massive amounts of nicotine in my blood because of the dip and I wanted them to know it wasn't from cigarettes. That's why I told them I used smokeless tobacco. I finished my questionnaire as I waited on the doctor. He finally came in and I rather liked him. I wish I could remember his name because I think I would like to go to him as my regular physician if he sees people as a primary care physician. He did the things that doctors do and I was done. I made another appointment for tests to be run for the twenty-second of December.
      The twenty-second rolled around and my appointment was for eleven O'clock in the morning and I had to have someone drive me there. Papaw took me and then he took off. I sat in the waiting room for a good hour and a half. I was afraid they had forgotten about me but I was eventually called back. It was time for my psychological evaluation. It really wasn't what I was expecting at all. Maybe I've seen too much television dealing with such things. He simply asked me a few questions; questions I had already answered on the questionnaire and then he said that from his end I was approved. I had to go elsewhere to get blood drawn and then I had to go to yet another part of the building for two more tests. I had to call Papaw because someone had to be there when I started the second test. The first one they did was an EEG or an EKG, I never can remember which one is which. They had me sign papers stating I would not drive an automobile or sign any legal documents the rest of the day. They really emphasized how I would be rather loopy after the next test. Papaw showed up and about a half an hour later they came to get me for my endoscopy. They were going to put me asleep and take a look inside my stomach with a camera. They had me gargle some of the most awful tasting stuff I had ever put in my mouth and then the sadistic monster made me do it again. Then he took a pair of long forceps with a saturated cotton swab and rubbed something on the very back of my mouth until I gagged. I remember the nurse then saying that the drug she was preparing to place in my IV would put me to sleep. The next thing I remember was sitting up talking to Papaw and thinking that they really over emphasized the effect of the drugs because I felt great. I was lucid and sober. Once again my memory left me. Next I remember walking to Papaw's car which was parked along the street and I was commenting on the lousy parking situation they have there and then I blacked out again. My memory finally came back for good when we were sitting in Taco Bell and I was eating tacos. I was famished because it was now four O'clock in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything since the night before. I guess they didn't want to find any half digested pancakes in my stomach when they did the endoscopy. Anyway, it appears that the drugs they gave me did actually pack the wallop they said it did. The doctor told Papaw that they only had to give me half of what they normally give patients. I was awful sleepy and tired that day. I was so excited about the tests that I didn't sleep all that well.
      I next had to schedule a stress test through my primary care physician. It was scheduled for this past Monday, the ninth. I was supposed to go back to work that day but my appointment was for 8:30 so I called in the first day back to work, again. I showed up and was directed to where I needed to be. I signed in and paid my co-pay and waited for about a half and hour and then was taken back. They put and IV in my hand and pumped me full of a dye. They then showed me to a waiting room with a television. They had to wait for the dye to circulate through my system. I got into some shows on the History Channel dealing with the apocalypse mentioned in Revelation and then I dozed off. I was tired that day as well because I was so excited the night before and didn't sleep well. They woke me up and took pictures of my chest. It looked like an x-ray machine but they didn't hide behind a wall and they didn't cover my privates with a lead blanket so it couldn't have been an x-ray machine. I don't know what that thing was called. I went back to the waiting room and shortly someone else came for me. They took me in a room with a treadmill and a big medical looking measuring machine. A nurse shaved my chest in a few places and placed electrodes all over me. I was hooked up to the big medical looking machine and the treadmill started up. I walked for nine minutes and my heart rate got up to 160 and while it was there something else was shot into me via the IV. I walked on the treadmill for a little while longer and then I sat down. The nurse took my blood pressure a few times while my heart rate decreased. Eventually they took me back to the waiting room and after a very few minutes the picture taking guy came and got me again. They took another round of pictures of my chest and then said I was free to leave.
      Tuesday the insurance coordinator at the St. Joseph East Center for Weight Loss Surgery called while I was at work. I returned her call immediately. She wanted to know if I had had a chance to get the stress test done. I told her that I had just had it done the day before. She said she would wait on the results to be faxed to her and then call me back or if it hadn't been faxed in a week she would call me back and I would go down to the cardiologist's office and remind them. I fully expected to have to go remind them to fax the results over. Maybe I am pessimistic, but if I am it's not without reason.
      Wednesday I had to rush across town after work to a nutrition class at St. Joseph East. I was ten minutes late and everyone looked at me when I walked in but I was one of the skinniest people in there so strangely enough it didn't bother me so much. She talked about what I would be eating directly after surgery, ice chips; 2 to 3 days while I am in the hospital, clear liquids; 1 to 3 weeks after surgery, pureed protein and protein shakes; 3 to 4 weeks after surgery, two to three ounces of solid protein and protein drinks and on from there. She also emphasized the water rules which are no drinking with meals or an hour after. No more gulping water which will be my biggest obstacle to cross because I love nothing better than to turn up a cool bottle of water and kill the thing. I absolutely have to drink 64 ounces of fluid a day, but slowly and I absolutely have to take my vitamins. These are rules for the rest of my life. She also emphasized the need for hot liquids to help fight the inevitable build up of mucous. Pleasant thought that is. I learned a lot but still I was apprehensive about the possibility that I might actually get the surgery.
      Today when I got home I noticed I had a voice mail on my cell phone. It was the director of the Center for Weight Loss Surgery, the head lady in charge. She wanted me to return her call and I couldn't get to a phone fast enough. I called and she informed me that the insurance had approved me and that the center had approved me and wanted to talk about surgery dates. I was floored. I was expecting a long drawn out wait with the insurance company and maybe even an appeal or two but it came in without me even getting a chance to worry about it too much. I like it when things work out like that. The earliest they could do it was the 30th of this month but I have no idea what I will have to do to get my short term disability in place so I told her I would check with work and call her back Monday. I wish now that I had scheduled for the 30th but maybe I'll wait until the middle of February. I want this done and I want it done now but I also don't want to use my own vacation time to do it. I am superdy duperdy excited.
      I decided to start my pre-op diet the day after Christmas. I did okay that day but I had brownies the next day, not okay. I didn't do real great until the first of the year and even then I had a few slip ups. SInce then I've done relatively okay. I could have done better and I really am not at the top of my diet game right now but when I weighed Wednesday night at the center with the scales they used when I first went in there it said I had lost seven pounds so I am going in the right direction. They will not do surgery if you haven't already been losing weight. They want you to keep your carbs at 30 grams a day so that your liver will be smaller and more easily manageable when they have to move it to do the surgery.
      I have never been more anxious for a Monday to come. I will find out all I need to know, take care of those issues and will call the director and set up my surgery date. This is like Christmas for me, only two weeks late. I have a whole lot of stress in my life right now. Even more than anyone knows but this has been a ray of sunshine that I am able to hold to and ride with all my being. I know that there's a lot of hard work ahead of me and that this will not solve all of my problems but if I feel good about who I am and just feel good physically I will be better able to tackle the hardships ahead with an unforgiving vengeance. I remember back about sixteen years ago or so I had gotten myself into pretty decent shape physically. I felt like I was invincible and that I just couldn't be stopped. I hope to have that feeling again because there was no greater rush.
      The kids are doing fine. Becca and I had a really nice long week together and we had a ball. I got Grant Wednesday night after the nutritional meeting and had to take him back Thursday night. I really hated that because by the time I got him home he was ready for bed and by the time I got home Thursday evening it was time to take him right back to his mom. I didn't get to spend any time with him at all but of course it must be even worse on Kristie because she didn't get to spend that much time this past week with Becca.
      I plan on giving the house a real good cleaning tomorrow and even though the Christmas stuff is down it now needs to be neatly packed away in our Christmas tubs and placed in the attic. The house needs it like you wouldn't believe. Actually using your kitchen for food preparation rather than snack storage really creates quite the mess. I'm just used to getting something fast, lately Taco Bell has been my favorite.
      Well, I am starving right now, something I won't have to worry much about after surgery, so I will close this out and go have myself a disgusting protein drink and maybe a piece of cheese. I may not be able to drink with food after the surgery and while I am trying to get into the fluidless meals I haven't had the surgery yet so I won't be doing any damage by having a protein drink and a piece of fat free cheese. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery

I am approved by insurance for the surgery. I will be scheduling it next week. WOOPEEE!!!!!!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                  Well, I suppose Christmas is finally officially over now. Becca & I took down the outside lights and decorations this evening. Well, I took the stuff down and Becca rode her electric scooter around and around the car, played with snappers left over from July 4th and a hundred other things to slow my progress. I wouldn't have had it any other way though. After I got the lights taken down I let Becca climb in the good climbing tree in our front yard. It finally got dark so I pulled the car into the garage. I did things a little differently with the outside lights this year. Last year I had such a tangled mess and the lights never worked right. I eventually gave up and didn't even leave them on. I decided to trash all of the lights and purchase all new lights. This year I decided to hang the lights in the garage and not coil them all up, at least not the icicle lights. I've had great luck just hanging the light nets so I decided to try that with the icicles. I might go with all new colored lights next year but we'll have to wait and see.
      I took the children to their Mom's last night for a few days. I got a call from Becca at around eleven last night and she wanted me to come and get her so I drove up to Palumbo Drive last night and picked her up. I had to get up early and go to the doctor so we both spent the night at Mamaw & Papaw's. That way I wouldn't have to drive her all the way down to the country. It really wasn't just for her benefit though. I really didn't want to get out of the bed any earlier than I absolutely had to. She decided she wanted to spend the night with me again tonight so here she is. I hate it when Becca isn't happy. I really want her to be happy wherever she is. It broke my heart last night to hear her crying for me. I fear there will come a time when she wants me and I just will not be able to go and get her. No, that won't happen because there's no way I could sleep if I knew she was unhappy.
      I was supposed to start back to work today but I had to do a stress test with a cardiologist today. I called in to work for the whole day. I really thought I'd be out relatively early because my appointment was for 8:30 this morning. I didn't get out of there until after noon. They pumped some dye or something into my blood and I had to wait for it to circulate through my blood stream. They put me in a small waiting room and I promptly went to sleep sitting in a chair. I was quite pooped out and then they had me run on treadmill for ten minutes. It nearly killed me.
      This was just a quick note to let y'all know what's going on in our lives. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                  We're all going to Uncle Rodney's surprise birthday party this evening. I don't suppose there's much danger in commenting on Uncle Rodney's surprise party because I don't see Uncle Rodney randomly checking this blog for updates especially since I've only been posting once or twice a month lately. Becca is in the kitchen with her safety scissors, glue, crayons and construction paper making birthday ornaments for Uncle Rodney. I think she's still in Christmas mode. I have the tree down and all of the stuff sitting against the wall in the living room and Grant is trying to destroy our star tree topper.
      I got the kids around noon yesterday because their mom called and told me that her sugar was real high and she had to go to the hospital. I hated to hear that she wasn't feeling good and I had planned on doing some work around the house yesterday but I was thrilled to get my little ones early. I did get the living room moderately cleaned up though.
      I am supposed to go back to work Monday but I have to go have a stress test at a doctor's office. I hear that a stress test is quite draining so I am not planning on going in at all. I have a meeting associated with the possible surprise I've been talking about. I suppose I could mention what it is about but I don't want to jinx it by speaking of it before I know it's going to happen, so I will not mention it.
      I'm trying to eat better this year but I didn't do so well yesterday. Day two of my new healthier eating routine and I have already fell off of the wagon. I'm back on today. I will adjust to this new lifestyle and won't do that as much in the future. This morning I had two eggs with salsa and three strips of turkey bacon while the kids had a pork sausage patty a piece, an egg and a few pieces of dry cocoa puffs. Neither one of them finished their breakfast but I finished mine. I need to exercise a whole lot more. I'd love to get a stationary bike or a treadmill for the living room so I could exercise here in the house while I keep an eye on the children. I am going to join a gym when finances allow. I have three choices. There's a new 24 hour gym opening up here in Versailles called Snap Fitness that I will be looking into if it's open when I am ready to join. There's also Falling Spring Community Center which I have already had a membership to that I did not use. Falling Spring would be nice because it's close to home and I would get a family membership and the kids would be able to use the pool this summer on the membership but the weight room is only okay and finally there's Urban Active Gym in Lexington which used to be Golds Gym. The place is a state of the art facility but probably much more expensive than the other places. I'll worry about which one to join when I am ready to join.
      Well, this was just a short note to let y'all know what's going on. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!

Dear Becca & Grant,
                     Happy New Year! It seemed like forever I was without my kids right after Christmas. I had to them back to their mom by 4:30 Thursday, Christmas Day and didn't get them back until Monday. Becca finally got her Easy Bake Oven from Mom, she visited Auntie Mary's and spent the night with Mom's friend, Sherrie's family. I just hung around the house playing on the computer and watching mindless television. I was so incredibly bored the whole time.
      I was supposed to have the kids back New Years Eve by six but their mom called and asked if I wouldn't mind keeping them for one more day because she was ill. I of course didn't have any problem whatsoever keeping my kids an extra night especially a night as special as New Years Eve. I don't expect to have that many New Years Eves with them through the years because their Mom & I have agreed that I would have them every Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning and she would have them for all other holidays with the exception of Thanksgiving which we will rotate. The kids are important enough in our family that Thanksgiving can be postponed for a day on account of my kids.
      I had planned on going to Wal-Mart and letting Becca pick out a new pair of earrings to replace the ones I lost. She picked out a pair of Cinderella earrings that turned out to be too big. They're cute on her but I prefer tiny earrings in her ear. I'll get her a real nice set when they go on sale closer to Valentine's Day; I've already mentioned that I believe. She picked her out a cute New Year's hat to match her Big Bird pull-over and I purchased a a few items and then I went to McDonalds to use the Red Box DVD rental thing they have at all of the McDonalds these days. There was a huge line and I wasn't willing to wait in line while a half dozen people browsed, chose and rented their films so we went to Movie Gallery. It's a bit more expensive but instead of one day you can keep Movie gallery films for five days. They had an excellent selection. They had a copy of every single movie I looked at except the one I really wanted, Eagle Eye with Shia LaBeouf. I ended up renting Tropic Thunder with Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. and the Veggie Tales movie, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything for Becca.
      We then went down to Mamaw & Papaw's for our New Years Eve celebration with plans to come home after it was over and take down the Christmas Tree. We had brown beans, cabbage, a veggie tray, baked apples, cheese dip, Frito's, corn bread and peppermint brownies. After we ate it was way past time for Grant to be down for the evening so Mamaw laid him down for the evening. I then set Becca up with her movie on her new Kid Tough DVD player and her head phones in the living room and the adults started Tropic Thunder. I was so glad that Becca was so into her movie because while Tropic Thunder was a very funny movie it was also littered with foul language. Becca had me take her earrings out because the head phones were bothering her ears with the earrings in. She finished her Veggie Tales movie and I put in the Tinkerbell movie I had downloaded and burned for her.
      About fifteen minutes before midnight we paused the film and turned on Dick Clark's Rocking New Years Eve Show. Dick Clark has been a New Years Eve staple for 36 years, almost as long as I have been alive. I don't think he has too many years left. He's had a few strokes and now he more or less just makes cameo appearances. Auntie Linda brought a bottle of flavored champagne so we poured all of us a glass with the exception of Becca who had orange juice and sprite. We waited for the ball to drop and we all yelled Happy New Year and I got my New Years kiss from my best girl, Becca and then she handed out kisses for all of us. She had a pretty nice time. There wasn't but about fifteen more minutes left in our movie so we finished that and then we hung around for another hour or so and then Becca and I headed to the house. Grant had already been asleep for quite awhile so we let him sleep. We didn't get back until after two in the morning. Too late to take down the tree.
      Becca wanted to watch a show before bed so I set one up and we started the show. Becca jumped up and said that while the show was playing she was going to take as many ornaments off as she could. I said okay and I went to get the ornament boxes. I helped Becca with the ornaments. We got all of them off and I thought that it wouldn't be too much trouble to take off the garland beads so I did. The tree sat there with just the lights. I then figured that the lights really wouldn't be that much trouble. I really ought to have known better. I finally got all the lights off and coiled up and there set the bare tree. Well, I didn't see any sense in getting so close and not finishing it so we went ahead and took the tree apart. I thought about just trashing the tree and buying a better one next year but I decided to keep it in case I decided against buying a new one. I also kept all of the inside lights even though I plan on going with multi-colored lights next year. Becca said she likes multi-colored better, as do most children and because I want each Christmas for the kids to be more magical than the one before I want to go with what they want even though I prefer clear lights. Warm clear; I made the mistake of buying a few strings of cool clear this year. Cool clear is actually blue. The clear lights with the blue lights actually looked okay and I think I have already mentioned that.
      Anyway, we took down the entire tree and I took down our Santa portrait and the decorative Santa plates. As I was going through the empty boxes I found a great big old bag of stocking stuffers I had purchased and forgotten about. I told Becca I had intended to wrap everything up. She told me that it was okay because she was tired of opening presents even though a few days before she got all whiny about Christmas being over and not having any more Christmas presents to open. I usually hide one last Christmas present in the tree so she and eventually the boy will have one last present to open as we take down the tree but this year I gave it to her when she was whining about not having any more presents. She was tickled pink with her new stuff though. She had a bag of silly straws, silly putty, a new flash light, bubbles, candy and bubble gum. I was glad that Becca got her last goodies of the year as we took down the tree. We got in bed at 4:30 in the morning. I know that was entirely too late for a four year old to stay up but it's only once a year and we were having so much fun.
      I woke up around noon and Becca woke up about an hour later. I got her dressed and we started to head out the door. Becca went to the bathroom and had a loose bowel movement. She told me that that meant she was sick. She looked nervous so I asked her if she wanted to stay in her panties or if she wanted a pull-up. I told her that there was no shame in wearing a pull-up when you needed one. She decided that she wanted the pull-up. I was actually proud of her that she had the foresight to make such an informed decision. I put her in her pull-up and then we had a little talk about good touching and bad touching. I think she got it or she got it as well as a four and a half year old can.
      We then went down to Mamaw & Papaw's where we found Grant dancing to Dancing Queen by Abba. I don't know if I approve of him dancing to a song called Dancing Queen but the little boy is a dancing fool. He dances more than any child I have ever seen, of course I haven't had all that much exposure to children his age. We bundled him up and headed towards where Mom is staying.
      I dropped them off, got some gas, came home had a very late lunch, picked up some and took a nap. I woke up awhile ago and had an extremely late supper. Started writing this post and here we are.
      Jacob bought himself an electric guitar the other day. Uncle Mike is going to teach him how to play. As you know both of his great uncles on his Mom's side are excellent musicians as are one of his aunts, Auntie Louise and Uncle Rodney has a cousin who plays with the country music super star, Brad Paisley's band so there's talent in the blood there as well. I know Becca really wants to learn the guitar and if she still does in a year or so I will get her a real guitar and see that she has lessons as well.
      Well, it's crazy late and I am tired. The past year has been hard on all of us and I am excited about the new year; really excited. Daddy loves Rebecca & Grant!