Well I got kind of nervous last night because I didn't feel the baby move for a very long time. Finally today I felt it move and I was pretty happy about it.

I feel so utterly helpless after this accident because whenever I go through here to clean my house I get so tired and achy because of the fractures I have suffered and I cannot even finish what I start out to do. I don't have any help from anyone and I get so embarrassed when people walk in here and find my house the state that it is in. I want to be able to cook and clean and work and run like I used to but I just can't. Everyone thinks that now because I can walk I can do anything and that is not the case.

The weight of the baby in the front of my belly is starting to take it's toll on my hip and my back. The only time I am ever really comfortable is when I am lying down, and even then I begin to hurt a lot. I don't know what to do, I feel hopeless and helpless and depressed most of the time. I am scared that I won't be able to care for my child properly when it is born and I am afraid that my sedentary lifestyle will make deliver and recovery harder. What am I supposed to do, though? Other than pray.... Hope that this all gets better. I will write more later on.

Danny says that I really don't write enough in my blog about the way I am feeling, so I think I will give it a shot.

Let's see, to start off with, I have acne all over my body. It is like I am fifteen again. I even have pimples on my *special* area and between the creases of my toes. I can't eat anything remotely spicy (i.e., tomato sauce, bar-b-q) or I will get heartburn that feels like there is a fire in my chest walls. I have ligament pain (ligament pain is due to the stretching and pulling of the two round ligaments on either side of the uterus as the baby grows) so bad sometimes that it feels like the baby has grabbed on to either side and has started swinging like a monkey from them. The pain in my already fractured pelvis is worsening more and more each day as the baby grows larger. I can't sleep because I can't find a comfortable posistion, I can't eat much of anything unless it is bland as hell (excuse me) and the doctors say this is all normal. In short, I am doing just fine, everything is normal. And normally, I feel like crap.

Other than that, I am extremely excited about this. This is something I have long for all of my life. And all this other stuff seems secondary to the fact that my prayer has been answered, indeed, at a rather odd time, but answered, nonetheless. Thank God for small miracles, and most importantly, thank God for the small miracle growing inside of me. I was very worried at the Doctor's office Wednesday when I could not hear his/her heartbeat with the doppler. I am overweight and I know it is normal in overweight women for it to be difficult for the heartbeat to be heard, but for a moment I froze and wondered if my tiny miracle had been taken away from me. I am so glad it was not. Thank you. God. Thank you, Dr. Youkilis. Thank you Danny for being by my side. And thank you, Rebecca or Caleb, for being you.

Haven't been writing as much in my blog lately. The soon-to-be second trimester fatigue has got me down, and I sleep as much as I can, when I can.

Well I am 13 weeks, which is great. It looks like the baby is gonna be here in July with us, and that excites us SO much! I go back to the doctor Wednesday (tomorrow) and hopefully we will get to hear the fetal heartbeat on a doppler.

I can't wait for the next ultrasound, so I can find out what my baby is. I am terribly excited. I am really dying to know. I think it is a boy, and my husband thinks it is a girl. We don't really care as long as it is healthy. I would love to have myself a little girl. But then again I would love to have myself a little boy, too. I am so excited but it hardly shows because I am so tired, ha ha.

Well I will write more after the doctor visit tomorrow, really been wanting to go back to the good old OBGYN, and make sure everything is A-Ok. I am sure it is. I feel so much more at ease now that I have passed the three month mark. Goodnight yall. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Well I have been lagging behind in my blog posts and it is annoying my husband. He has been off for two weeks though and when he is off like that I rarely do anything but try and spend time with him.

Well I turned 12 weeks today, which is great. That is the three month mark! Fantastic news for us, there is a 97 per cent chance that this pregnancy will continue. Seems to me we are having a baby!

I read on Babycenter.com that now our baby is flipping and fluttering (I knew that, I felt it for the first time New Years Day) and also sucking it's thumb and developing a rooting reflex. That is fascinating, like practice for he or she to be able to learn how to eat. :)

In What To Expect When You Are Expecting ( A GREAT Christmas gift from my Sister-In-Law), it says that the baby is looking more and more human, with its eyes moving closer together and it's ears shifting to the side of it's head. Shortly it will be able to hear outside noises, and we bought headphones for Him/Her to listen to MOZART FOR MOTHERS (a gift from the Father-To-Be) and ULTRASOUNDS - a cd we are waiting for to come in at Joseph Beth Booksellers. When we went there I also bought "Oh, The Places You'll Go" - A Book To Be Read In Utero - By Dr. Suess. I have read it to him/her once already, even though they can't understand a word of it yet. Doesn't matter, it made me feel a special closeness to my baby.

My friend Belinda brought me a lot of little onesies and sleepers for the baby after he/she is born, and a few recieving blankets. That is greatly appreciated. I got one recieving blanket from my Mother-In-Law, and two onesies for Christmas. They are so cute. The recieving blanket she gave me is fleece and has duckies on the fringe. I love lil duckies.

Well I have finished my night-time snack of a lil bit of Vanilla Ice Cream and now I am gonna go brush my teeth and hit the hay. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease!