The Blog Is Really Back This Time

It's been years since I've written anything here. Tons of things have changed since my last little visit in 2017  I'm changing the format of this blog and I'm going to start calling it my journal instead of a blog. I've written before as letters to my children and when it was all about them it was appropriate but I'm going to be getting into a wider range of issues that I deal with in my life so from now on it's just journaling. 

A few notes to get me started that I will deal with in depth as I write. The children have been placed into foster care. There's lots to get into regarding that. I retired from General Electric after 30 years. Melisa, my third wife and I have been divorced for well over a year and my first wife and one true love, Christy Hess passed away a little over a month ago. That really messed me up and I've already written about it extensively. I'll edit that document and post it here when I feel like I'm able to deal with it again.

This is just an announcement that I'm back to journaling and if things go as they have before I'll post again in four to five years. 

June 2017

It's been rough. Becca, I hope you get through this. You've been cutting and are on more medications than I've ever imagined. You seem to hate my lovely wife. You're such a Pre-teen. Almost a teen-ager.    Just q few weeks and you'll be there. I wish we could go back to the way things used to be. You were such a joy. I really need you to be okay.

Grant, you've given me even more stress than your sister. Once upon a time you announced to me that  you're a transgendered girl named Tina. You ripped up a Bible in my presence. It killed me. I sent you to your mom's place for the summer. I'm old wchool and very conservative so what you've presented me with as a nine year old us beyond my comprehension. We even had an investigation by social workers based on accusations you've made. It amounted to nothing but still I feel guilty not being with your while you're with your mom. You've been baptized this summer and your mom tells me you're on fire for Christ. It's better than I could ever do for you. You need to come back for the new school year and we will make sure your new found respect for your Savior is honored. Perhsps you will influence the rest of us and we can all enjoy a closer walk with Christ. I love you, son. I know I don't call y'all while you're at your mom's add much as I should but guys really don't have that much to say to each other.

Listen; both of you. I feel I've failed you. You both have issues and are meds. I've done probably everything wrong. I was lazy and gave you too much access to television and eventually the internet. I apologize for not being the kind of father I thought I could be. I tried to get both of you involved in the kinds of things that I was into as a child but neither one of you are remotely like me so it didn't work. Maybe that's a good thing.

I was so proud to be a father. I probably shouldn't have been at such a late stage of my life. I'm sorry if my own