Hello Becca! Mommy here. Wow, that's wierd. Hehehe. MOMMY. I like it. (BIG smile) The reason I am addressing this to Becca is because Danny (Daddy) said we are going to start treating this like an open letter to her. And in this letter I would like to address the fact that the roast beef I fed us both last night (and I can't believe I actually ate any meat at all, I am not fond of it these days) cost me $3.56 for a half pound. My Goodness, that will not be happening again.

Also, Becca, I wanted to tell you about some of the dreams I have been having. The most recent one being me going into labor with you and Daddy rushing me to the hospital and when we get there it is a huge circus tent and the hospital bed is a trampoline and all of the nurses AND your Daddy and I are dressed in clown face. Big Top Music is playing (du nu du nu du du nu nu nu nu) and there are trapeze artists and baton twirlers readying the delivery tools. A baton twirler comes twisting a pair of forceps like it is his best act right at me. The real kicker is, though, instead of the doctor delivering you, your little newborn self winds up delivering the doctor (Bradley Youkilis). Yep, you are standing there, newly born (oh dear me, what is in those prenatal vitamins?) delivering a grown man. That is kookie. The worst part is, the dear old doc ALSO comes out in clown face. What a crazy event.

I also dreamed that you came out a boy, and you came out biracial. No big surprise there, as by now you well know that your half brother, Dylan, was A. a boy and B. Biracial. It was just kookie that I dreamed that, lol.

I have also had a dream that our cat, Samson, attempted to eat you because he thought your lotion was tasty. I screamed at him in anger to get away from you and he looked right at me and said, very plainly, in a voice that was so clear (he almost sounded like James Brolin) "I am sorry, but she smelled rather tasty with that creamy baby lotion on." When I was about two and a half months along with you I bought some baby lotion to use on myself and he would squeeze it from the pump with his paws at night and lick it up. LOL. Crazy crazy.

Well that's all I have to write to you today darling, except I love you and can't wait to meet you face to face (instead of foot-to-belly). I am going to sleep now. I doubt you are, but I have to. Goodnight.

Hello again. Danny here. It's Saturday morning here today. We did a little baby shopping yesterday. Okay we did a ton of baby shopping yesterday. First we went to "Babies R Us". There we got border, crib sheets, a lamp, a cute little dress to bring Becca home in, some matching shoes, a matching bib, a little pink teddy bear, a pink special occasion baseball and maybe some other stuff I can't think of right now. After that we went to Rafferty's and had a burger. Then off to Lowe's for paint & stuff. There we got two gallons of American Tradition pale sunlight paint, two rollers with pans, gold sparkle flecks for the paint, a stick for the roller, a corner brush, a narrow roller, refills for the brushes, some heavy duty wall cleaner and we picked up a couple of free stirring sticks and a free lid opener. Walmart was next. Didn't get much at Walmart. Kristie got some maternity clothes and I picked out a little sleeper. After that we went home. You may think that would be it, wouldn't you? Well, not quite. Amazon.com is sitting in my office. That's where we we next visited. There we got a dust ruffle to match the crib set. Then we were done. We were both much to excited to sleep so we watched Maury and, I am almost ashamed to admit this but then we watched Jerry Springer. Hey, it's like gawking at a terrible accident. You really know you shouldn't and wish you wouldn't but you know you're going to stretch that neck to see everything you possibly can. We still have to get a stroller, a dresser, a crib, a changing table, a crib mattress and Kristie wants a rocker for the nursery and probably a thousand other things we haven't thought of yet.

I am planning on cleaning the walls today. Kristie is going to have to find somewhere to hang out today because the cleaning solution I am going to use is really very strong. She shouldn't be around that stuff. The kitty has curled up on my arms as I am typing this. He was quite upset that I wouldn't move the keyboard so he could lay down on the desk. He seems comfortable though so He's happy that he is next to me and I am happy that he is next to me and I can still type.

Just found out friday that our late June - early July vacation has been set back a month to late July - early August. That works out great. The baby will be here by then so I can spend time with my daughter. Wow, that still sounds so strange to talk about my daughter. I'm gonna be the daddy of a precious little girl. We looked for some kind of clothing that said Daddy's Little Girl. We found one item but it was way to big. There was loads of Daddy's Little Boy stuff, but no girl stuff. Hey, those of us that are the fathers of little girls love our kids too. We'll find something I am sure.

Well I had a good nap on the couch, but now I wish I would have avoided it. I woke up and I can't go back to sleep now. I am so very happy that we got to see our LITTLE GIRL on screen today. That was the most priceless moment of my life, I will never have anything to match it again. I was overjoyed at Dylans ultrasound to see how healthy & beautiful (he, even I though I didn't find out with him, obviously I know it now, lol) was, but I knew ultimately Dylan was going to be someone else's child. This is our baby; our little girl. She belongs to the man I love most in the world. And I know he will be a WONDERFUL father.

The tech did just what we asked, whispered it to Allison and she was the very first to ever know. I am sure she will never forget that. She then asked if we were ready and we said yes and she said "It's a girl." My MIL, Milta, was very pleased as well. Lynn, Danny's sister, has two boys, (Jacob & Johnathan) and one girl (Allison), so kinda needed another girl! Danny called me motor mouth today lol, but he just said he thought it was cute, and I was happy GOSH DARNIT! Praise the Lord for this gift!!! All I can say is Thank you Jesus. I don't care about anything else right now, I know that will change but I am still on top of the world!!! Woohooooooooo... bye for now!

Greetings one & all. It's a girl. Yep, we had the ultrasound today and it's a beautiful little girl. She was wiggling around in the womb like a little jumping bean. Wow, that was probably the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life. She was holding onto one of her legs. They wanted to get a profile shot of her but she kept putting her arm in the way. The ultrasound tech jostled Kristie's tummy and she moved her arm and we got the profile. I am so excited. We're going to have a girl. Little Rebecca Lynn. Kristie & my sister, Lynn want to call her Becca. I like Becky but I think I'm out voted.

Kristie is worn out this evening. She's in the living room right now sound asleep on the couch. She's had a full day. When we found out she was just a buncle of energy. Talked her head off to everyone. She was so cute. I love her so much. She's had insomnia lately. She mentioned it to the doctor and he prescribed her some ambian. We thought that ambian was to strong for her with the baby but the doc said it would be fine. I suppose it's because she is so far along right now.

Wow, That was cool. To see my daughter move around like that. God, I hope I am going to be a good father.

Well now I know the true meaning of getting your biscuits burnt! This morning the ultrasound lab called to ask if I could come in early - I mean like, this MORNING early. I told them I couldn't because it was really hard to schedule things around Danny's schedule and get a ride for me to meet him in Lexington for things like this. She was like okay, thanks, and hung up really quick.

Well I started to get worried. What if this woman flaked out and left? I don't want to have been looking forward to this for months - literally -and then show up and them not be there! So I called Dr. Youkilis' office, and Rachel (receptionist) answered the phone and I asked her about it and she said my ultrasound was YESTERDAY, I was like OH NO, it was TODAY, that lady just called me and told me so, and I have the paper right here in my hand! Well she argued with me for a minute and then said "Oh I see what happened, we accidentally had you wrote down for HIM yesterday" and I was like !!!! I said then, all I need from you is to make sure they aren't going to flake out on me on this and leave and then I will have made this appt. and all of these plans for nothing! Grrrr! So she called over and they said come on in. Ultimately everything worked out fine, and I am still going, but don't they know not to be doing this stuff to a pregnant woman!!!! We are emotional anyway.

I am too mad to type any more right now. More after visit.

Howdy! Kristie here. Well I am sure you all enjoyed listening to Danny prattle on about absolutely nothing. And just think, I am married to him. LOL. It is not easy sometimes. Well I wrote a couple of poems last night, One for the baby from us and one for his/her Daddy from the baby. I can't wait until we stop saying that. I want to say he or she alright already and not "him or her". Well I wanted to share these poems with you, so in the words of the great ROCKY from ROCKY & BULLWINKLE, "Now for something you'll REALLY like." LOL. I hope so anyway.

So anyway that is the first one to Baby Lanham from Me & HIS OR HER (sigh) Daddy. The second one is the one the baby & I wrote for Daddy (lol, the baby helped a WHOLE lot). Here goes nothin'.

For Baby Though we've not yet met, We are so glad that we know you, We know we won't forget, Everything we've been through. From the moment we knew you were there, We loved you beyond measure. Nothing could ever compare To this special, priceless treasure. We've prayed for you, and sang to you, We've read to you, and we've worried. Whenever things went askew, To the doctor we would hurry. We've felt you flutter, and kick, and move, So hard sometimes we'd giggle, As you grew, so did our love, We can't wait to feel you wiggle. Though we've not yet seen your face, You are the most beautiful thing we've known, In our hearts you'll have a special place, That you can call your own. We're so glad God sent you, On us, how He has smiled. Wherever you go, whatever you do, You are - and always will be Our Child. From Mommy & Daddy March 15, 2003

For Daddy Daddys are so special They are big and strong I will love my Daddy forever, And I think that's very long. Daddys can play catch, And teach you how to ride a bike, Have a wrestling match, And take you on a hike. They take you to the zoo, And buy you cotton candy, And any Daddy half as good as you- Well he would be just dandy! Daddy's remember your birthday, And buy you lots of stuff! They know lots of fun games to play! But they are never TOO rough. Daddy's give great hugs, And lots of kisses, too And they let you play with bugs! I don't think Mommys do! There's lots of special Daddys, And I am sure they're lots of fun! But I really think MY Daddy, MY Daddy's Number One! From Baby Lanham March 15, 2003

Anyway that's it for now. Thanks for putting up with Danny & I enough to read this site.

Hello one & all. Danny here with Kristie setting on the love seat in the office where we keep the computer. She's eating peanut butter M&Ms of course that seems to be her favorite past time recently, eating. The cat, Samson is lying on top of a monopoly game box bathing himself. It's nearly bedtime for me here at the ole' Lanham homestead and for Kristie too it seems.

Well, ultrasound is Wednesday. And The cat wants to lay on the keyboard now. It's hard to type. Kristie has distracted him with the false promise of a treat. We both are excited about finding out about the gender of our baby. I don't know if the cat is excited or not. I hope the cat & the baby get along because if not we'll have to get rid of one of them. I'd hate to have to decide....j/k. The cat stays....LOL.

I'm working during the March vacation so I can take it when the baby is born. Anyway, Wednesday Allison & Mom are going to the ultrasound with us. We plan on having the tech tell Allison the sex of the baby but not us. Allison can then reveal the sex to us in grand style. She seems to be excited about that.

It looks like Caleb is back as our favorite boys name. Of course if it's a girl all of our teeth nashing over the name was for naught. It will be nice to be able to call our baby either "he" or "she" instead of "he or she", or even worse "it".

Kristie bought herself a brand new pregnancy mumu today. It's so very sexy. She says it's very comfy and she doesn't care a lick what I think about it. She also bought some flip-flop type sandals today. We got all of this high fashion at the Family Dollar for less that ten bucks. And to think all we went in there for was toilet paper. Kristie says we are gonna return and get more mumus.

Well, that's all for today, friends & neighbors. I gotta go visit the Sandman. Kristie is complaining that I type to slow. Maybe I do. But I think it's quality over quantity any day. Now all I have to do is learn to type well in addition to typing slow. She just rolled her eyes at me. She asked me to stop typing all of her reactions to my wonderful post. Just like the cereal post toasties.

I better finish. She threatened to delete this post if I continued in this vein. I am done for today. Thank you for your concern.

Howdy again! Long time no speak. Well the little one is kicking harder and harder these days. I am sure his/her daddy will be able to feel it any time. As for me I am tired a lot. I don't yet have that perky *energy* that comes late in the second trimester. I am still fatigued a lot of the time. My insomnia (explaining why I am still up at almost one a.m.) may have something to do with that, too, though.

Though Rebecca is still going strong for the girl, we have begun to rethink the name Caleb. I love that name and I really wanted to name him Caleb but every time we tell someone what we are going to name the baby if it is a boy they go Oh, KAYLA? And it is rather exasperating. I guess we might just be a little too country around here for that name to be pronounced properly. Good grief, I hate to think of what my family would call him. They can't even pronounce my name...and my name is easy ...not a whole lot easier than Kristie.

I like the name Isaac. I also like the name Aaron, but not too sure about it. I like the name Grant. I want to try to keep that in there if I can. I suggested to Danny that we name the baby Grant if it is a boy and just give him a nice middle name. He said that was something to think about. He said what about Allen but Allen is his brother-in-laws middle name and my nephew's middle name. Seems like too many Allens to me. I might just give up and call him George (And I will love him and hug him and call him George.) We may not even have to worry about a boy's name. We may have a girl and it may not make any difference at all. Still, we have to think about it.... It could be a boy. It could be a girl. It could be (God help me) a girl and a boy. So I don't know.

Other than that, things are swell. The baby is getting stronger every day (feels like he/she is beating me up) and my muscles in my uterus are getting better and better. They were painful for quite a while. I am scared sometimes that I won't be a good mother, but the books that I am reading say it is normal to be scared. That it is PROPER to be scared, because if you are scared, it will help to make you a good mother. I think about Dylan sometimes. I can only hope to be as patient and kind and loving as his adoptive parents are. I never got the chance to be with him much but I know that he is a wonderful child and has a wonderful family. I can't wait for him to meet his brother or sister someday.

Well that is all I have for now. Will try to keep you more informed on a more regular basis. Going to the Ultra Sound the 17th of this month. St. Patrick's Day. :) Yay. God Bless.

Anyone got any good ideas about how to rock a baby still in utero to sleep? LOL....I long for the days when he/she would stop moving whenever I layed down. Now he/she just keeps going at it until they have had their fill of fun kicking mommy and making her go pee! And man does my back ever hurt these days! You should see my belly - it looks like one of those Dirigibles the Spongmonkeys sing about. I dread to see what it is going to look like here in a few months! I am going to be large, if not in charge, lol ;)

I have had some whacky emotions lately. I worry too much I guess, I know that no matter what me and my child will always be taken care of. That's all I need to know :) I can't wait for the Ultra Sound to find out what this baby is! I am so excited. Danny thinks there is so much blue in this, but most of it looks primarily yellow to me, save the garnish at the top of the crib set and the lines interwoven with just as many-if not MORE - yellow lines in it. Isn't it adorable? I think so. I think it goes for a boy or a girl. Frankly I can't stand pink. Oh dear, have I made a feminine fau pax? I don't care! I hate it! LOL.

Well I am going to finish up my midnight snack (Cinnamon Toast Crunch - I try to eat sugar cereal when I am craving something sweet... lt is fortified with vitamins and minerals...but still tasty :p) and I am going to see if little Rebecca Lynn or Caleb Grant will let me go the heck back to sleep! Thanks for stoppin by once again. :)

Hello again. Danny here. Things are not quite as dire as Kristie let on in the previous posts. Must be preggo hormones. Of course making $1,100 in house payments a month isn't the easiest thing I've ever done. Anyway, let's talk about what we're here to talk about.

We bought some things for the nursery. We won't know if we are having a boy or a girl until March 17th but we just can't help ourselves. We are just so excited. We bought a Diaper Genie, socket plugs, a tiny grooming kit, a little Lord's prayer doll, a baby monitor to match the nursery decor, a set of three Avent bottles, a set of three playtex bottles, a set of three bottles that I can't remember the brand, a set of six Gerber bottles and a crib set called Sun, Moon & Stars. You can see it here. We also bought a mobile to match. We're gonna get border and a crib skirt later. We can't find the window valance though. It wasn't at Babies R Us and it's out of stock at Amazon.com. I suppose we'll make do with something. I know there's an awful lot of blue in this particular Nursery theme and we don't yet know if we are going to have a son or a daughter. This is what we plan. If it's going to be a girl we will place the border along the top of the wall and paint the walls all yellow and if we are having a boy we'll place the border along the middle of the wall and paint below it yellow and above it blue. I think that will work. That's it. That's all I gotta say for today.

Hello world. Not a whole lot to report today, was worried for a bit because I did not feel the baby move for a while. Finally, today in church he started his "womb wiggle" again, or she, that is. We still do not know what the baby is yet. I am praying in earnest that my child can and will grow up here. I like it here and I don't want to have to leave. It would be bad for me but it would be worse for my husband. He already feels like he has failed everyone in the world. He told me yesterday that he feels like he has failed his unborn child already. I feel for him; a man should never have to feel that way. He makes a sufficient amount of money, but when I am not working that money goes to bills that I normally pay. Just figuring up one house payment, the cost of food and utilities comes out to seventeen hundred dollars a month. And we have two house payments. So it is often a choice of what we need and what we can do without... many people don't realize that. When I was working I paid all of the utilities - I mean ALL of them - gas, electric, water, phone, cable, trash, car insurance, and I bought ALL of the groceries. All Danny had to worry about were the house payments. Things were easier then. I have been trying in earnest to find a job where I can make some kind of money... anything. I can't seem to find anything that I could actually make it to if I could actually get hired. After all, my transportation got mangled when I did. And I can't go back to Waffle House. My hip and pelvis hurt so bad some days that I can barely stand.

I am supposed to call that lawyer tomorrow; he said he has an appt. with an insurance adjuster tomorrow. I MAYBE might be getting something. I am praying for it, so I can bring this to rights and take Danny's mind off of his worries for just a little while. Sometimes he snaps and yells at me lately, when he never did before, and I know it is because of the stress-but he doesn't realize how badly it upsets me. I love him and when he feels badly so do I.

What's worse is his family thinks I dislike them now. I never thought I was hurting anyone when I was ranting and raving and carrying on... that was never my intention anyway. If they really knew me they would realize that I am the kind of person who would never want to hurt ANYONE - emotionally or otherwise... on purpose. Especially the people that I care deeply about. And they are some of those people. All I ever wanted to do was support my husband. I worry for him. For his health, emotionally, physically, psychologically. I am not a strong person. I can be the one he leans on...but if he goes out of his mind I will have no one to lean on in return. I told him again tonight that I swear to stand by him no matter what decision he makes. And I'll say it again; I swear to stand by him no matter what decision he makes. I know that he will do the right thing. I know that he will always take care of me and my child. I may not post for a while... there is just nothing happy to report these days. We can't enjoy this time like we should. It's unfortunate for us... but even more unfortunate for our child. I never wanted Danny to feel like he was failing him/her...and I never wanted to fail him/her either... but I have. So please God, if you're in, hear our pleas.

I removed the last post per request from my sister-in-law. I read her email and I agree with her; what I did was wrong. I am worried too and I don't know how to deal with this, but this wasn't the right way. I am entitled to my feelings, I know, but this was the wrong way to express them. I want my mother-in-law to know that I do appreciate everything she has done for me, she has been closer to a mother than anyone I have ever known, save my own. I spoke in anger and I should have never done that. I also want to apologize to my neice, she should never have to read anything so hateful. I love her dearly and I never ever want to upset her. We are in such a hard spot right now but it is not fair for everyone else to have to suffer for it. Bottom line is Danny loves his family, and I love them dearly. And I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

Hello once again. Danny here. We had an appoinment with the doctor yesterday. Everything seems to be just fine. We heard thr heart beat. That's really all that was done. Kristie got weighed, she lost a pound but that's perfectly normal for this stage of gestation and her blood pressure was up just a hair. The doctor didn't seem to be to awfully concerned about it so we aren't either. We have another ultrasound & regular appointment scheduled for March 17th.

That's all the news for today.

Well I went to my doctor yesterday and all is well! We heard the heartbeat VERY clearly. That was exciting. Sounded like ponies galloping in my belly :) The visit didn't last very long at all and my husband was a bit put out by it I think, because of the simple fact that he took off work an hour early to take me there and we didn't get seen until five-thirty, nearly an hour and a half after my appt. was supposed to take place. I explained to him that a short visit at this stage was a good thing; It meant that everything was progressing smoothly. The next visit should be a bit longer...because.. I AM GETTING AN ULTRASOUND! I am so excited about this, I don't know why, I have had one already. But this is like the VERY FIRST PHOTO of your child. I mean you can clearly tell that the baby is human by now.. and we might be able to tell if we are having a little Rebecca Lynn or a little Caleb Grant- if the baby is in a cooperative posistion, of course. I am so excited about that- that I could nearly bounce out of my chair. Danny (my husband) keeps saying that all we are going to get is a photo of butt cheeks. That would be ok too...lol... at least we might get to see what the baby is if it is mooning us.

The doctor asked if I would like to do a Spina Bifida and/or Down Syndrome test on the baby. I really didn't know if I should or not because of the simple fact that this is only the second time I have ever done this.. and the first time I did it I did do the test because I was unsure of the medical history of the father. He made up my mind for me though when he asked if I would terminate the pregnancy if the baby had Spina Bifida or Down Syndrome. I, of course, said HELL NO. Then he said the test would be really unneccessary and that it would pose more risk than help as I am overweight and it would make an amniocentesis difficult. It doesn't matter to me; I have felt this baby kick now. I could be giving birth to an alien and it wouldn't make one bit of difference. This is my child. This is my future. My hopes and dreams.

I have been letting the baby listen to MOZART FOR MOTHERS as much as possible... at least twenty to fourty minutes a day. He/She seems to really enjoy it; every time I put the headphones on my belly he/she does the "womb wiggle"...a series of light kicks and punches to let me know he/she hears it and is going to be born with the rythym.... if not raised with it...lol.

I wish that Danny was enjoying this pregnancy more. I know that he has a lot of stress right now and that really upsets me. I wish there was something that I could do to help ease the stress... A job...answering phones... filing stuff.. anything that is easy enough for me to handle and at least paid a little bit. I have finally faced the fact that I cannot go to back to work at the Waffle House right now because it takes me three hours just to clean the living room up..when before (even when the house was a total wreck) I could go through here and clean the whole house in just three hours. I am worried that I will never be the same... Am I going to be able to properly care for this baby? I am stressed too... I just try not to show it as much. One of us has to be strong I know, I am just getting tired. I don't want to have to be strong anymore. I want to be able to just sit back and relax and enjoy this time to the fullest. I can't deny that I am scared to death about not only this, but other aspects of our lives as well. Hopefully God will look out for us once more and things will be alright again...at least for a little while. I am sorry that I have rambled... I usually try to keep these posts light-hearted, but that is just not the mood I am in today. So no animal-fat salutations as an ending today. Just as a request for you to keep our new family in your thoughts and prayers.

Hello World. First time you've heard from the father, isn't it? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Danny. I'm gonna be a father for the very first time and I am extremely excited about that fact. There's so many things going on in our lives right now that it's kind of difficult to really enjoy this blessing as it should be enjoyed. We have so many other stresses in our lives. But hey, this is not the forum for complaining. We are here to celebrate the arrival of a new life. My son or daughter. It feels so strange saying that.

Kristie has been a little afraid of using this blog. She says that she fears that her pregnancy may still be in jeopardy. She's had three pregnancies go wrong in the past but none has reached near to the seventeen weeks, almost eighteen, that she is at now. The baby has been kicking at her forever. With a baby that strong at that stage of gestation I'm sure he or she is gonna be just perfect. Of course my baby is gonna be perfect. How could it be otherwise. Kristie is going to continue to post here more & more as the pregnancy progresses and her fears subside. In the meantime I'll be dropping in from time to time let you know how things are going from my frame of mind.

Now, onto a little technical update. We were using BlogBuddy to post to blogger.com but it really didn't work half the time so I found a fabulous little program called Wbloggar. That's what I'm using at the moment. It's so cool. I've been working on looking for an alternate program and setting it up all night. Just thought I'd tell you that. It has nothing to do with the baby but I like to ramble on & on.

Well, I reckon that's it for my first post. And I make this solemn vow to you, dear reader, that in signing off there will never be any mention of chicken grease or any other type of animal fats in my closing salutations. Thank you for caring enough about us to check out this page.

Well I know that Dan has worked hard on this and I haven't kept it up like I should. The truth is, I am still nervous about this whole situation. I am scared that something terrible is going to happen to rip my dream away from me. Last night I had a big scare, I had a little bit of bleeding and some pretty severe pain in my left side. It went to the ER and it turned out to be nothing. But still, it scared me quite a bit. I know that Dan didn't think we needed to go, and he was probably right, but when I heard the doctor say *Everything looks fine*... my heart rose back up in my chest.

I am feeling the baby move more and more every day, his/her little legs are belting away from the inside and getting stronger and stronger. I can't wait for the Dad-To-Be to feel the baby kick for the very first time. I know that he will be thrilled. I am so happy that we are going to get to see this little munchkin. We already love him/her SO much... I don't know what life would be like without him/her now.

Well I go back to the doctor Monday and hopefully he will schedule my next sonogram then, for we are dying to know what this baby is. I want to know if it is a boy or a girl SO badly... I don't know why... it's very important to me. I never got the joy of knowing before hand with Dylan, even though I knew he was a boy deep down in my heart, I was still waiting for a surprise, lol.

Well I am going to go and see if I can rustle up some breakfast. I will write more tomorrow - PROMISE. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Well I got kind of nervous last night because I didn't feel the baby move for a very long time. Finally today I felt it move and I was pretty happy about it.

I feel so utterly helpless after this accident because whenever I go through here to clean my house I get so tired and achy because of the fractures I have suffered and I cannot even finish what I start out to do. I don't have any help from anyone and I get so embarrassed when people walk in here and find my house the state that it is in. I want to be able to cook and clean and work and run like I used to but I just can't. Everyone thinks that now because I can walk I can do anything and that is not the case.

The weight of the baby in the front of my belly is starting to take it's toll on my hip and my back. The only time I am ever really comfortable is when I am lying down, and even then I begin to hurt a lot. I don't know what to do, I feel hopeless and helpless and depressed most of the time. I am scared that I won't be able to care for my child properly when it is born and I am afraid that my sedentary lifestyle will make deliver and recovery harder. What am I supposed to do, though? Other than pray.... Hope that this all gets better. I will write more later on.

Danny says that I really don't write enough in my blog about the way I am feeling, so I think I will give it a shot.

Let's see, to start off with, I have acne all over my body. It is like I am fifteen again. I even have pimples on my *special* area and between the creases of my toes. I can't eat anything remotely spicy (i.e., tomato sauce, bar-b-q) or I will get heartburn that feels like there is a fire in my chest walls. I have ligament pain (ligament pain is due to the stretching and pulling of the two round ligaments on either side of the uterus as the baby grows) so bad sometimes that it feels like the baby has grabbed on to either side and has started swinging like a monkey from them. The pain in my already fractured pelvis is worsening more and more each day as the baby grows larger. I can't sleep because I can't find a comfortable posistion, I can't eat much of anything unless it is bland as hell (excuse me) and the doctors say this is all normal. In short, I am doing just fine, everything is normal. And normally, I feel like crap.

Other than that, I am extremely excited about this. This is something I have long for all of my life. And all this other stuff seems secondary to the fact that my prayer has been answered, indeed, at a rather odd time, but answered, nonetheless. Thank God for small miracles, and most importantly, thank God for the small miracle growing inside of me. I was very worried at the Doctor's office Wednesday when I could not hear his/her heartbeat with the doppler. I am overweight and I know it is normal in overweight women for it to be difficult for the heartbeat to be heard, but for a moment I froze and wondered if my tiny miracle had been taken away from me. I am so glad it was not. Thank you. God. Thank you, Dr. Youkilis. Thank you Danny for being by my side. And thank you, Rebecca or Caleb, for being you.

Haven't been writing as much in my blog lately. The soon-to-be second trimester fatigue has got me down, and I sleep as much as I can, when I can.

Well I am 13 weeks, which is great. It looks like the baby is gonna be here in July with us, and that excites us SO much! I go back to the doctor Wednesday (tomorrow) and hopefully we will get to hear the fetal heartbeat on a doppler.

I can't wait for the next ultrasound, so I can find out what my baby is. I am terribly excited. I am really dying to know. I think it is a boy, and my husband thinks it is a girl. We don't really care as long as it is healthy. I would love to have myself a little girl. But then again I would love to have myself a little boy, too. I am so excited but it hardly shows because I am so tired, ha ha.

Well I will write more after the doctor visit tomorrow, really been wanting to go back to the good old OBGYN, and make sure everything is A-Ok. I am sure it is. I feel so much more at ease now that I have passed the three month mark. Goodnight yall. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Well I have been lagging behind in my blog posts and it is annoying my husband. He has been off for two weeks though and when he is off like that I rarely do anything but try and spend time with him.

Well I turned 12 weeks today, which is great. That is the three month mark! Fantastic news for us, there is a 97 per cent chance that this pregnancy will continue. Seems to me we are having a baby!

I read on Babycenter.com that now our baby is flipping and fluttering (I knew that, I felt it for the first time New Years Day) and also sucking it's thumb and developing a rooting reflex. That is fascinating, like practice for he or she to be able to learn how to eat. :)

In What To Expect When You Are Expecting ( A GREAT Christmas gift from my Sister-In-Law), it says that the baby is looking more and more human, with its eyes moving closer together and it's ears shifting to the side of it's head. Shortly it will be able to hear outside noises, and we bought headphones for Him/Her to listen to MOZART FOR MOTHERS (a gift from the Father-To-Be) and ULTRASOUNDS - a cd we are waiting for to come in at Joseph Beth Booksellers. When we went there I also bought "Oh, The Places You'll Go" - A Book To Be Read In Utero - By Dr. Suess. I have read it to him/her once already, even though they can't understand a word of it yet. Doesn't matter, it made me feel a special closeness to my baby.

My friend Belinda brought me a lot of little onesies and sleepers for the baby after he/she is born, and a few recieving blankets. That is greatly appreciated. I got one recieving blanket from my Mother-In-Law, and two onesies for Christmas. They are so cute. The recieving blanket she gave me is fleece and has duckies on the fringe. I love lil duckies.

Well I have finished my night-time snack of a lil bit of Vanilla Ice Cream and now I am gonna go brush my teeth and hit the hay. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease!