Anyone got any good ideas about how to rock a baby still in utero to sleep? LOL....I long for the days when he/she would stop moving whenever I layed down. Now he/she just keeps going at it until they have had their fill of fun kicking mommy and making her go pee! And man does my back ever hurt these days! You should see my belly - it looks like one of those Dirigibles the Spongmonkeys sing about. I dread to see what it is going to look like here in a few months! I am going to be large, if not in charge, lol ;)

I have had some whacky emotions lately. I worry too much I guess, I know that no matter what me and my child will always be taken care of. That's all I need to know :) I can't wait for the Ultra Sound to find out what this baby is! I am so excited. Danny thinks there is so much blue in this, but most of it looks primarily yellow to me, save the garnish at the top of the crib set and the lines interwoven with just as many-if not MORE - yellow lines in it. Isn't it adorable? I think so. I think it goes for a boy or a girl. Frankly I can't stand pink. Oh dear, have I made a feminine fau pax? I don't care! I hate it! LOL.

Well I am going to finish up my midnight snack (Cinnamon Toast Crunch - I try to eat sugar cereal when I am craving something sweet... lt is fortified with vitamins and minerals...but still tasty :p) and I am going to see if little Rebecca Lynn or Caleb Grant will let me go the heck back to sleep! Thanks for stoppin by once again. :)

Hello again. Danny here. Things are not quite as dire as Kristie let on in the previous posts. Must be preggo hormones. Of course making $1,100 in house payments a month isn't the easiest thing I've ever done. Anyway, let's talk about what we're here to talk about.

We bought some things for the nursery. We won't know if we are having a boy or a girl until March 17th but we just can't help ourselves. We are just so excited. We bought a Diaper Genie, socket plugs, a tiny grooming kit, a little Lord's prayer doll, a baby monitor to match the nursery decor, a set of three Avent bottles, a set of three playtex bottles, a set of three bottles that I can't remember the brand, a set of six Gerber bottles and a crib set called Sun, Moon & Stars. You can see it here. We also bought a mobile to match. We're gonna get border and a crib skirt later. We can't find the window valance though. It wasn't at Babies R Us and it's out of stock at Amazon.com. I suppose we'll make do with something. I know there's an awful lot of blue in this particular Nursery theme and we don't yet know if we are going to have a son or a daughter. This is what we plan. If it's going to be a girl we will place the border along the top of the wall and paint the walls all yellow and if we are having a boy we'll place the border along the middle of the wall and paint below it yellow and above it blue. I think that will work. That's it. That's all I gotta say for today.

Hello world. Not a whole lot to report today, was worried for a bit because I did not feel the baby move for a while. Finally, today in church he started his "womb wiggle" again, or she, that is. We still do not know what the baby is yet. I am praying in earnest that my child can and will grow up here. I like it here and I don't want to have to leave. It would be bad for me but it would be worse for my husband. He already feels like he has failed everyone in the world. He told me yesterday that he feels like he has failed his unborn child already. I feel for him; a man should never have to feel that way. He makes a sufficient amount of money, but when I am not working that money goes to bills that I normally pay. Just figuring up one house payment, the cost of food and utilities comes out to seventeen hundred dollars a month. And we have two house payments. So it is often a choice of what we need and what we can do without... many people don't realize that. When I was working I paid all of the utilities - I mean ALL of them - gas, electric, water, phone, cable, trash, car insurance, and I bought ALL of the groceries. All Danny had to worry about were the house payments. Things were easier then. I have been trying in earnest to find a job where I can make some kind of money... anything. I can't seem to find anything that I could actually make it to if I could actually get hired. After all, my transportation got mangled when I did. And I can't go back to Waffle House. My hip and pelvis hurt so bad some days that I can barely stand.

I am supposed to call that lawyer tomorrow; he said he has an appt. with an insurance adjuster tomorrow. I MAYBE might be getting something. I am praying for it, so I can bring this to rights and take Danny's mind off of his worries for just a little while. Sometimes he snaps and yells at me lately, when he never did before, and I know it is because of the stress-but he doesn't realize how badly it upsets me. I love him and when he feels badly so do I.

What's worse is his family thinks I dislike them now. I never thought I was hurting anyone when I was ranting and raving and carrying on... that was never my intention anyway. If they really knew me they would realize that I am the kind of person who would never want to hurt ANYONE - emotionally or otherwise... on purpose. Especially the people that I care deeply about. And they are some of those people. All I ever wanted to do was support my husband. I worry for him. For his health, emotionally, physically, psychologically. I am not a strong person. I can be the one he leans on...but if he goes out of his mind I will have no one to lean on in return. I told him again tonight that I swear to stand by him no matter what decision he makes. And I'll say it again; I swear to stand by him no matter what decision he makes. I know that he will do the right thing. I know that he will always take care of me and my child. I may not post for a while... there is just nothing happy to report these days. We can't enjoy this time like we should. It's unfortunate for us... but even more unfortunate for our child. I never wanted Danny to feel like he was failing him/her...and I never wanted to fail him/her either... but I have. So please God, if you're in, hear our pleas.

I removed the last post per request from my sister-in-law. I read her email and I agree with her; what I did was wrong. I am worried too and I don't know how to deal with this, but this wasn't the right way. I am entitled to my feelings, I know, but this was the wrong way to express them. I want my mother-in-law to know that I do appreciate everything she has done for me, she has been closer to a mother than anyone I have ever known, save my own. I spoke in anger and I should have never done that. I also want to apologize to my neice, she should never have to read anything so hateful. I love her dearly and I never ever want to upset her. We are in such a hard spot right now but it is not fair for everyone else to have to suffer for it. Bottom line is Danny loves his family, and I love them dearly. And I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

Hello once again. Danny here. We had an appoinment with the doctor yesterday. Everything seems to be just fine. We heard thr heart beat. That's really all that was done. Kristie got weighed, she lost a pound but that's perfectly normal for this stage of gestation and her blood pressure was up just a hair. The doctor didn't seem to be to awfully concerned about it so we aren't either. We have another ultrasound & regular appointment scheduled for March 17th.

That's all the news for today.

Well I went to my doctor yesterday and all is well! We heard the heartbeat VERY clearly. That was exciting. Sounded like ponies galloping in my belly :) The visit didn't last very long at all and my husband was a bit put out by it I think, because of the simple fact that he took off work an hour early to take me there and we didn't get seen until five-thirty, nearly an hour and a half after my appt. was supposed to take place. I explained to him that a short visit at this stage was a good thing; It meant that everything was progressing smoothly. The next visit should be a bit longer...because.. I AM GETTING AN ULTRASOUND! I am so excited about this, I don't know why, I have had one already. But this is like the VERY FIRST PHOTO of your child. I mean you can clearly tell that the baby is human by now.. and we might be able to tell if we are having a little Rebecca Lynn or a little Caleb Grant- if the baby is in a cooperative posistion, of course. I am so excited about that- that I could nearly bounce out of my chair. Danny (my husband) keeps saying that all we are going to get is a photo of butt cheeks. That would be ok too...lol... at least we might get to see what the baby is if it is mooning us.

The doctor asked if I would like to do a Spina Bifida and/or Down Syndrome test on the baby. I really didn't know if I should or not because of the simple fact that this is only the second time I have ever done this.. and the first time I did it I did do the test because I was unsure of the medical history of the father. He made up my mind for me though when he asked if I would terminate the pregnancy if the baby had Spina Bifida or Down Syndrome. I, of course, said HELL NO. Then he said the test would be really unneccessary and that it would pose more risk than help as I am overweight and it would make an amniocentesis difficult. It doesn't matter to me; I have felt this baby kick now. I could be giving birth to an alien and it wouldn't make one bit of difference. This is my child. This is my future. My hopes and dreams.

I have been letting the baby listen to MOZART FOR MOTHERS as much as possible... at least twenty to fourty minutes a day. He/She seems to really enjoy it; every time I put the headphones on my belly he/she does the "womb wiggle"...a series of light kicks and punches to let me know he/she hears it and is going to be born with the rythym.... if not raised with it...lol.

I wish that Danny was enjoying this pregnancy more. I know that he has a lot of stress right now and that really upsets me. I wish there was something that I could do to help ease the stress... A job...answering phones... filing stuff.. anything that is easy enough for me to handle and at least paid a little bit. I have finally faced the fact that I cannot go to back to work at the Waffle House right now because it takes me three hours just to clean the living room up..when before (even when the house was a total wreck) I could go through here and clean the whole house in just three hours. I am worried that I will never be the same... Am I going to be able to properly care for this baby? I am stressed too... I just try not to show it as much. One of us has to be strong I know, I am just getting tired. I don't want to have to be strong anymore. I want to be able to just sit back and relax and enjoy this time to the fullest. I can't deny that I am scared to death about not only this, but other aspects of our lives as well. Hopefully God will look out for us once more and things will be alright again...at least for a little while. I am sorry that I have rambled... I usually try to keep these posts light-hearted, but that is just not the mood I am in today. So no animal-fat salutations as an ending today. Just as a request for you to keep our new family in your thoughts and prayers.

Hello World. First time you've heard from the father, isn't it? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Danny. I'm gonna be a father for the very first time and I am extremely excited about that fact. There's so many things going on in our lives right now that it's kind of difficult to really enjoy this blessing as it should be enjoyed. We have so many other stresses in our lives. But hey, this is not the forum for complaining. We are here to celebrate the arrival of a new life. My son or daughter. It feels so strange saying that.

Kristie has been a little afraid of using this blog. She says that she fears that her pregnancy may still be in jeopardy. She's had three pregnancies go wrong in the past but none has reached near to the seventeen weeks, almost eighteen, that she is at now. The baby has been kicking at her forever. With a baby that strong at that stage of gestation I'm sure he or she is gonna be just perfect. Of course my baby is gonna be perfect. How could it be otherwise. Kristie is going to continue to post here more & more as the pregnancy progresses and her fears subside. In the meantime I'll be dropping in from time to time let you know how things are going from my frame of mind.

Now, onto a little technical update. We were using BlogBuddy to post to blogger.com but it really didn't work half the time so I found a fabulous little program called Wbloggar. That's what I'm using at the moment. It's so cool. I've been working on looking for an alternate program and setting it up all night. Just thought I'd tell you that. It has nothing to do with the baby but I like to ramble on & on.

Well, I reckon that's it for my first post. And I make this solemn vow to you, dear reader, that in signing off there will never be any mention of chicken grease or any other type of animal fats in my closing salutations. Thank you for caring enough about us to check out this page.

Well I know that Dan has worked hard on this and I haven't kept it up like I should. The truth is, I am still nervous about this whole situation. I am scared that something terrible is going to happen to rip my dream away from me. Last night I had a big scare, I had a little bit of bleeding and some pretty severe pain in my left side. It went to the ER and it turned out to be nothing. But still, it scared me quite a bit. I know that Dan didn't think we needed to go, and he was probably right, but when I heard the doctor say *Everything looks fine*... my heart rose back up in my chest.

I am feeling the baby move more and more every day, his/her little legs are belting away from the inside and getting stronger and stronger. I can't wait for the Dad-To-Be to feel the baby kick for the very first time. I know that he will be thrilled. I am so happy that we are going to get to see this little munchkin. We already love him/her SO much... I don't know what life would be like without him/her now.

Well I go back to the doctor Monday and hopefully he will schedule my next sonogram then, for we are dying to know what this baby is. I want to know if it is a boy or a girl SO badly... I don't know why... it's very important to me. I never got the joy of knowing before hand with Dylan, even though I knew he was a boy deep down in my heart, I was still waiting for a surprise, lol.

Well I am going to go and see if I can rustle up some breakfast. I will write more tomorrow - PROMISE. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Well I got kind of nervous last night because I didn't feel the baby move for a very long time. Finally today I felt it move and I was pretty happy about it.

I feel so utterly helpless after this accident because whenever I go through here to clean my house I get so tired and achy because of the fractures I have suffered and I cannot even finish what I start out to do. I don't have any help from anyone and I get so embarrassed when people walk in here and find my house the state that it is in. I want to be able to cook and clean and work and run like I used to but I just can't. Everyone thinks that now because I can walk I can do anything and that is not the case.

The weight of the baby in the front of my belly is starting to take it's toll on my hip and my back. The only time I am ever really comfortable is when I am lying down, and even then I begin to hurt a lot. I don't know what to do, I feel hopeless and helpless and depressed most of the time. I am scared that I won't be able to care for my child properly when it is born and I am afraid that my sedentary lifestyle will make deliver and recovery harder. What am I supposed to do, though? Other than pray.... Hope that this all gets better. I will write more later on.

Danny says that I really don't write enough in my blog about the way I am feeling, so I think I will give it a shot.

Let's see, to start off with, I have acne all over my body. It is like I am fifteen again. I even have pimples on my *special* area and between the creases of my toes. I can't eat anything remotely spicy (i.e., tomato sauce, bar-b-q) or I will get heartburn that feels like there is a fire in my chest walls. I have ligament pain (ligament pain is due to the stretching and pulling of the two round ligaments on either side of the uterus as the baby grows) so bad sometimes that it feels like the baby has grabbed on to either side and has started swinging like a monkey from them. The pain in my already fractured pelvis is worsening more and more each day as the baby grows larger. I can't sleep because I can't find a comfortable posistion, I can't eat much of anything unless it is bland as hell (excuse me) and the doctors say this is all normal. In short, I am doing just fine, everything is normal. And normally, I feel like crap.

Other than that, I am extremely excited about this. This is something I have long for all of my life. And all this other stuff seems secondary to the fact that my prayer has been answered, indeed, at a rather odd time, but answered, nonetheless. Thank God for small miracles, and most importantly, thank God for the small miracle growing inside of me. I was very worried at the Doctor's office Wednesday when I could not hear his/her heartbeat with the doppler. I am overweight and I know it is normal in overweight women for it to be difficult for the heartbeat to be heard, but for a moment I froze and wondered if my tiny miracle had been taken away from me. I am so glad it was not. Thank you. God. Thank you, Dr. Youkilis. Thank you Danny for being by my side. And thank you, Rebecca or Caleb, for being you.

Haven't been writing as much in my blog lately. The soon-to-be second trimester fatigue has got me down, and I sleep as much as I can, when I can.

Well I am 13 weeks, which is great. It looks like the baby is gonna be here in July with us, and that excites us SO much! I go back to the doctor Wednesday (tomorrow) and hopefully we will get to hear the fetal heartbeat on a doppler.

I can't wait for the next ultrasound, so I can find out what my baby is. I am terribly excited. I am really dying to know. I think it is a boy, and my husband thinks it is a girl. We don't really care as long as it is healthy. I would love to have myself a little girl. But then again I would love to have myself a little boy, too. I am so excited but it hardly shows because I am so tired, ha ha.

Well I will write more after the doctor visit tomorrow, really been wanting to go back to the good old OBGYN, and make sure everything is A-Ok. I am sure it is. I feel so much more at ease now that I have passed the three month mark. Goodnight yall. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Well I have been lagging behind in my blog posts and it is annoying my husband. He has been off for two weeks though and when he is off like that I rarely do anything but try and spend time with him.

Well I turned 12 weeks today, which is great. That is the three month mark! Fantastic news for us, there is a 97 per cent chance that this pregnancy will continue. Seems to me we are having a baby!

I read on Babycenter.com that now our baby is flipping and fluttering (I knew that, I felt it for the first time New Years Day) and also sucking it's thumb and developing a rooting reflex. That is fascinating, like practice for he or she to be able to learn how to eat. :)

In What To Expect When You Are Expecting ( A GREAT Christmas gift from my Sister-In-Law), it says that the baby is looking more and more human, with its eyes moving closer together and it's ears shifting to the side of it's head. Shortly it will be able to hear outside noises, and we bought headphones for Him/Her to listen to MOZART FOR MOTHERS (a gift from the Father-To-Be) and ULTRASOUNDS - a cd we are waiting for to come in at Joseph Beth Booksellers. When we went there I also bought "Oh, The Places You'll Go" - A Book To Be Read In Utero - By Dr. Suess. I have read it to him/her once already, even though they can't understand a word of it yet. Doesn't matter, it made me feel a special closeness to my baby.

My friend Belinda brought me a lot of little onesies and sleepers for the baby after he/she is born, and a few recieving blankets. That is greatly appreciated. I got one recieving blanket from my Mother-In-Law, and two onesies for Christmas. They are so cute. The recieving blanket she gave me is fleece and has duckies on the fringe. I love lil duckies.

Well I have finished my night-time snack of a lil bit of Vanilla Ice Cream and now I am gonna go brush my teeth and hit the hay. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease!

Well it has been a while since I posted in my little blog ...been kind of busy because of the holidays. Now I am back. HI :)

Anyway we had a big scare last night because I was having some major cramping and a bit of spotting but I called my OB-GYN after hours and he said that it didn't sound like too much of a concern. We were thankful for that, that would have been one SUCKY Christmas present.

Well I made out like a bandit this holiday. I got perfume and two pairs of stretch pants (which I will need) and two sweaters...I also got a big Stitch Doll (Lilo & Stitch is my favorite cartoon) and a whole bunch of other stuff. :)

The best present of all is our little runt being ok. :)

Well damn, I had this post all written out and for some strange reason it just went away, *poof*! As I was saying....

Here I sit eating the breakfast of champions, Cheesy Sour Cream&Onion Cheez-Its. Normaly I would turn my nose up at such a breakfast, but they sounded so good, and I am out of cereal. At least I am drinking orange juice. Heh.

I am feeling a bit better today. The pain in my left side is subsiding some and I am very glad of that. It did hurt. I spoke to Danny briefly on the phone today and he said he was feeling much better. I was glad to hear it. I worry about him. I lost my signal on our cell phone and we could not finish our converstation, which was unfortunate. I am always glad to hear from him, whether he wakes me up or not.

Well I am going to go chow down on some more Cheez-Its. Maybe I will write more later. Love, Peace & Chicken Grease.

Well it's good news! I called my doctor and he said if it feels like a pulled muscle, it usually IS a pulled muscle, so NO WORRIES! It made me so happy to hear that. I guess it's like that analogy I heard on TV, "When you hear hooves, think Horses, not ZEBRAS."

I am worried about my dear husband though, He is very ill lately. He is supposed to get a test for being Diabetic here soon, but I can't get him into the Doctor until after the new year. He has some awful bronchitis and he said today that his heart races like he has had too much caffiene all the time. I worry so much about him. I don't ever want to lose him. I always want my little one to be with his/her Daddy. Well I am going to go pour myself another glass of milk. I am craving it again lately. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Alright, I think I have a legitimate concern. On the left side of my body it feels like I have pulled something in my abdomen. I wouldn't be worried, only that it has been tight and achy for a few days. What should I do? I am thinking that I should call my doctor. Even if there isn't anything wrong, at least he will be able to put my mind at ease.

I wonder if I am just being paranoid again. I know that being this far along some things have to bend and stretch but I didn't know they had to be so painful when they did it.

I really do hope everything is alright. I will be praying double time today. Maybe you should, too.

I wonder lately if anyone has ever been as paranoid as I am. Every time I have the slightest cramp or pain in my stomach, I am horrified. I don't want to lose my baby. I know that this is all probably stemming from Hormone Hell(the state of being I am in right now) but still, I worry.

I did a little last minute Christmas shopping today. I had to get something else for the Father-To-Be, I only had him a couple of things. Not very expensive things either. But I can't afford much for him. Besides, we would rather our nieces & nephews, Allison, Leah, Jacob & Jonahthan have a fantastic Christmas this year, because this may be the last one they see from us for a while. We will have other financial worries when the baby gets here.

Well I am dead dog tired, because even though I only did a LITTLE shopping, the girls did a lot. The girls being my friends, Alicia & Cassie. They are who I went with. I am going to bed, even sitting in a wheelchair for three hours can be tiresome. Not to mention I spent four hours at a lady's wake today. It's so sad that she died. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Ok, here is the deal. I read in some magazine/book/newsletter/etc. in my doctor's office to start using baby products to get your pets and other children associated with the smell of a baby. Well I don't have any other children living here, but we do have a cat, Samson, who is spoiled rotten. He is a big, big baby and does not even like when I am holding Stuffed animals. So I figured that this would be a fantabulous idea. (Fantabulous is a word my husband made up.)

Well I went out and bought a pump of Baby Magic Baby Lotion, and it smells exquisite, just like a little baby should smell, and it softens skin remarkably. I love it, and Samson seems to like the taste of it, anyway. (Hope he does not try to eat my baby)

I also bought some Baby Shampoo, it smelled so good, so sweet and fresh, that I decided to use some on my hair in my bath tonight. I have one thing to say.


TEAR FREE MY TUSHIE!!!


Oh, My, God! I got some of that stuff in my eyes and I thought that I was going to have to pluck them OUT. I am dead serious. How can people use this on their baby's heads? JEEZY CREEZY...it was awful! I don't know if it only works like that on adults and it is fine for a baby or if it is just because I bought the Kroger brand and not Johnson & Johnson. However I looked at the ingredients and they all seem to be pretty much the same. I don't know what to think, there is no way I am going to let my baby get that crap in it's little eyes, but I don't know of any alternatives to Baby Shampoo off hand. Maybe I can get some of the REALLY good stuff...Like Aveeno/Gerber baby shampoo, and just try to make it last for baby's bathtime. Well, my eyes are still stinging. I'm going to go flush them out with some water. Love, Peace, & Chicken Grease.

Well it's almost time for a bath & for bed. I am really achy today so I can't wait. I am kinda bitchy towards Danny (my husband) and our cat, Samson, lately. I don't mean to be but it seems like the both of them grate my nerves more than usual. I suppose that's normal with hormone fluctuations.

This house is a mess again. I am still not really physically able to clean it up and I have recieved little to no help from the dear old Husband. He DOES cook, but I wish I could find a way to make him help me keep it CLEAN. And I dont mean JUST the dishes or the kitchen. I mean ALL of it. I know one thing for sure this house WILL be CLEAN before the baby comes - even if I have to hire Merry Maids. I have his family threatening to call CPS on me, if you can believe that. You should have seen some of the Pig Stys I lived in as a kid. Compared to those places this house is a mansion. CPS never tried to take me away. Even though I wish they would have sometimes. Heh.

Well I suppose I am just venting and being hormonal, but it helps. I am going to go and take my bath now and relax some. That's it for now.

Well it is late and I could not sleep so I decided to write a bit more here in the baby blog. That sounds so odd, rolling off my tongue, baby blog. Heck, the word baby sounds odd. I never thought that I would see this day.

Back in '93 I gave birth to a son. I was only fifteen at the time and I suppose I would not have made much of a mother. I desperately wished to keep my son-but due to circumstances beyond my control I had to place him for adoption. I won't go into any more detail because contrary to what most people think I haven't 'gotten over it'. It is still VERY painful and well - it will always be.

Since I gave birth to my son I have been pregnant three times, this one making four. I had two miscarriages and an ectopic (tubal) preganancy and never thought I would be able carry a baby to term. Well I have made it two months here - and thats FANTASTIC. One or two more months and I am out of the woods.

I recently had an accident back in July which may cause this pregnancy to be of great difficulty (well all pregnancies are a great difficulty) - but even more so - I was hit by a car and broke my clavicle, three ribs, collapsed a lung, fractured my back & pelvis in two places, broke my shin, shattered both my ankles, broke two fingers, got nerve damage in my right hand, & had multiple stitches and a concussion. I was in the hospital for a month in a drug-induced coma and in a rehab hospital for two months thereafter. I still cant stand up for long periods and the fractures in my pelvis are still healing. I pray to God that I can do this-I know that he will give me the strength. As they say, every time God closes a door he opens a window.

It's odd how much you can love someone who isn't even born yet. I love this baby with all of my heart and hope the best for it now and in the future. Every time I look at it's father my love grows more for him, too, and I will always cherish him for giving me this special gift. This year should be one heck of a Christmas!